allow me to close my eyes and say goodbye, finally

I just can't sleep

the crawling cold
hits me soft
the sounds in my head
drowning all my sleep

dip my heart
into ice cold wind
sit and shiver
in the darling silence

long lost shadows
blend in with night
and all I see
are the outlines of life

the journey from start
all the way to death

sit and shiver
in the nightly cold
the silent breeze
is making my heart stop

take a spoonful of light
that accents the sky
and fill your head
with the pointless of life

crawl into a space
so far and unknown
want to breathe
air so pure

leaving their grip
once and for all
stand on my own
with cold feet in the snow

even if I must
I'll turn into rust

Reviews

[keith]

strong metaphor that offers ease in imagery

[AnonymousOne]

You really write good poems... I like this poem :)

[plainme]

Thanks AnonymousOne!

[N!LoC]

hmmmmmm..... what inspired u to write this... and were u in bed when u wrote it?

[plainme]

just sitting in a chair, and I guess I remembered 'bout that dollar, right?

[plainme]

oh, I just noticed that that I thought that this comment was on my other poem. Sorry for that, now to 'un-awkwardly' answer your question, I guess I just couldn't sleep when I really wanted to, and I opened the balcony and let the cool breeze in. And yeah, I was sitting on my bed then.

[Kristin]

I really liked this!! It captures the pain and the "journey to death" well. I can relate too. It shoes the need to just let go of life and to let yourself die. Good job well done!

[plainme]

I didn't really write the poem with that intention, to create, or rather visualize the journey from life to death, but, that being said, which I appreciate tons, I started to interpret my piece like that as well. I love the fact that people comment their interpretations, one sided poetry isn't my thing. Thank you for the review, Kristin. :-)