a journey/fell from the clouds

ideas

like droplets in the sky

obscurely bonding

vastly accumulating

endlessly falling

yet, like ions they shape and form

obsessively searching for the other parts

undergoing electric attractions

may we do the same?

and see if elements of water

rappel down the air we breathe

ignoring winds and pressure

enduring life changing temperatures and fall to the

ground when time finally runs dry

_______________________________

Reviews

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

Your words seemed to fall like rain droplets in this piece, though i wish to see a more refined form of your poem, as i feel something's missing; May be the idea revolving within or an extension of the idea a little bit more, overall i like the topic and concept of this one . :)

[plainme]

Hmm, that's interesting, makes me wonder. I always find it a shame to rewrite or add pieces to already published poems, I know what you mean, the 'Idea' is a vague one and the reader might be curious about what the idea is. I know exactly what you're trying to say, and if it wasn't for my OCD principles in poetry I would add, or perhaps grow another branch from this poem. Anyway, thank you for your review Rafia!

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

what are ur OCD principles?

[plainme]

the one I wanted to point out in the comment above is that I can not change or add things to a poem that's already been written. Except for errors and mistakes, but I can not find myself in that trip again to change things within.

[sonnetmoon]

A beautifully constructed poem. Thank you for making me speechless yet again Plain me.
-sonnetmoon

[plainme]

Thank you yet again for the comment, I really appreciate it. I had a feeling things would be dead around here now that I'm not that active anymore, but you've pleasantly surprised me! :-)

[abraxus89]

I liked this, I'd like to elaborate but I'm quite lost for words really. [in a good way]

Well done!

[plainme]

When I read this again, after forgetting its existence, I get a sort of whirlpool in my mind. Sucking up all the words I could use to describe this, so yet again, we're on the same wavelength! Thank you!

[N!LoC]

Took me awhile to figure out that this was about rain lol :-)

[plainme]

doesn't have to be rain in particular, it can be anything you want!

[Nick.B]

Interesting imaginary seems like a fantasy picture, with some elements we can't survive without...great job

[plainme]

Thanks Nick!

[FateDictates]

pretty poetic love these elements...makes me want to run outside and feel the air, temperature, elements

[plainme]

Ah maybe you should then? Never hurts before a good night sleep! :) Thank you

[Karen]

I like the image of ideas being droplets that fall to the ground when life temperature changes and the ground runs dry! That is a phenomenal image! I know that when life has turned up the heat the droplets of writing are what keep my mouth watered enough to vent my frustrations on paper instead of on those I love! Thanks for writing and sharing this poem!

[plainme]

Nice to hear that I'm not the only one in that case :) Thanks for the review!

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write.
"like ions they shape and form
obsessively searching for the other parts
undergoing electric attractions"

[plainme]

Thank you Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Inda]

Love the rhythm and the question at the end is going to thug my mind a while, Great piece!

[plainme]

Hope it doesn't keep you up at night! Thanks!