the man in the mirror

razorblade, cold and sharp

singing songs

cold of heart

 

little cut, bleeding soul

red blood

hot water bowl

 

infested water, reddish dye

rush of blood

from low to high

 

pale skin,numbing touch

losing grip

lack a crutch

 

rocking forth, from side to side

snowy vision

I am, I was, now I’ve died

Reviews

[Cool Handless Luke]

Very dark of course. Loved the imagery and flow again. very simple and yet poignant ending that sums it all up nicely. Nice work!

[plainme]

Thank you very much for you kind words :-)

[N!LoC]

Oo ... Very dramatic ending to a dark and lovely poem :-)

[plainme]

thank you very much!

[Nick.B]

Shows the circle of life pretty well, very dark, great job

[plainme]

I agree! Thanks a lot!

[The Girl That Let You G..]

A brilliant write. A deep moving poem on a persons last suffering moments on earth.

[plainme]

maybe those last moments on earth aren't suffering moments, I thought of them as a break out of the tormented soul, a happy moment with freedom that follows, but your interpretation is as good as mine, there is no right interpretation, there is no wrong. I like the fact you mentioned your vision. Thank you

[Entropy of the mind]

I like this, It is very emotionally driven and has depth
You can feel the torment and pain.
I especially like the first stanza - it launches you into the horror this person is enduring.
Good job.

[plainme]

Thank you very much!

[abraxus89]

This is quite different from normal poems.

I got the feeling you were describing the final moments of life as the last of our lifeforce leaves us.

perhaps im wrong but thats what I got from it.

nice job.

[plainme]

Yeah, that's what it is. The rocking back and forth, losing feeling and dripping blood from our finger tops. Thanks for the review!

[abraxus89]

not a problem, ive been neglecting writers cafe recently. Life n all that shabang!

[plainme]

I hope you've came back with lots of material then? A break can do a writer wonders!

[abraxus89]

yeah I've stuff written down but its more of a midlife crysis and as you know yourself or one day will know, it takes a lot out of you ha