Your Porch

metaphor galore

I stepped out onto your porch

It had a quaint feel like being in a sepia film

Rocking chair in the corner and wind chimes

hanging from the beams.

There was a smell of sincerity in air

Mingled with a warm breeze which caressed my neck

Like your lips used to do.

I caught your smile, you remembered too.

You were always close enough to feel but too far to touch

I longed for you.

I longed to stay on your porch with the night sky drawing in

So clear, the stars were almost tangible.

Just like you.

I wondered why I saw you in Technicolor, when life was

so black and white.

You told me you were colour blind, I always found that funny

Was I really blue?

Reviews

[Karen]

When I was reading the titles to your poems, I clicked on this one because of the title, in the hopes of finding a poem that was both beautiful and conversational and was actually about a porch! I am not disappointed! I love the way you use color imagery in this poem, from sepia to black and white, color blindness and Technicolor. It truly offers readers something tangible to grasp upon but also something metaphorical (yes, this poem is metaphor galore!). But there's also that conversational part of the poem that makes it so beautiful and so relative to anyone's experience even if we don't have a front porch with a melancholic history. It's so beautifully written! Thank you!

[A.A.Romanczuk]

this claws right into the heart...a soft, sweet song with a bitter aftertaste...a quiet, knowing amusement at the self..the knowledge of having longed and longed with little satisfaction. he could have loved me if he wanted to. perhaps he did. he almost did. and it was the almost that kept me there...there in the field of dreams...connected by a kiss...we were drawn to each other...the universe laughed.

[Rikkevi Rue]

you have such a way of turning the phrases...I was brought to my knees, melancholy within just 15 lines (ok maybe 17 if you count the shorts) but how artfully you lifted my heart with sentiment, only to dash my hopes with disappointment. I can see the warm light and feel the chilly reality of being outside of the warmth, the wistful sense of sad beauty...and isn't it funny how life and love are really like that, emotion you have so accurately captured and so artfully expressed.

I just love the way you write PJ, SO TALENTED!

[Poetic Justice]

gosh..I love your reviews LOL thank you soooo much xx

[Citrus17]

This is amazingly written. Love your lines :)

[Poetic Justice]

thanks

[PurpleQuartz]

The imagery is perfect! I love how you wrote with words such as 'sepia' and 'Technicolour'!

[Poetic Justice]

thank you

[Sethnicity]

:D This is such a Comfy Place. and you haven't lost your touch.
Lyrically on point but the follow through is like a soft clutch.
Love the country side metaphors kinda suits my pace, so once again... You took me to a Cozy Place.

[Poetic Justice]

ahhh...if only you knew :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

And what metaphors they are... here are some people who stand out for us. I love the dreamy like love scene you painted with your words.

[Poetic Justice]

thanks sweetie

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

:)

[Poetic Beauty]

I love the story line in this poem. The scene of a big ol southern style porch comes to mind for me. The stars twinkling as two people are drawn to each other but never touch. Some people are larger than life; living in technicolor when the world around is painted in shades of gray (not to be confused with the books) lol

[Poetic Justice]

LOL..yeah I know what you mean

[Merry E. Oliver]

Your imagery really draws me in. I agree with Frieda P that the colour references are interesting. They actually made the poem for me...I also love how you articulated longing and the disconnect between the speaker and her/his beloved. Topnotch :)

[Poetic Justice]

thanks