Drowning Within Myself

Ever feel down, like there is no hope? Don't feel alone, this poem is to express in words the depression we can all fall into from life.

     Drowning Within Myself

    

 

I find myself slipping off the edge of sanity;

Drowning from the inside out.

 

 

A sea of emptyness engulfing me with its rising tide of sorrow;

Of pain as dark as the lowest cavity that nestles subtley into the vast ocean floor.

An unspoken universe that I barely recognize is there,

Untill, I fall off the edge of reality.

I sink humbly into the abyss, letting nature take me;

Wanting to find, wishing it exists, a tiny ray of light, of hope.

As if suffocating from the depth of my life isn't enough, I find myself straining for a glimpse of possiblility.

A rare chance that I might find the surface;

That maybe the last pinch of air I feel left in my lungs will continue to keep my broken heart pumping.

Untill...

 

 

Then I see it, a sheer mirrage of a life without pain, just past my sorrow's choppy exterior.

A blue sky, clouds so close to touch, a bit of color growing to be more.

Then is when i feel my insides ignite;

As I struggle to break through that thin icy wall between me and ending dispaire.

I finally comprehend the burn inside, as I take in air;

Breathing in the sweet, yet harsh, realization of seeing a way out.

A way into my future, that might just possibly coexist with peace.

I find myself within reach of happiness.

I find my vessel that keeps me afloat;

A smile that I thought I had long since forgotten.

And maybe, if I'm lucky, a tickle of laughter inside to keep me drifting in the right direction.

I start to excite myself and let my heart fully envelope my dreams;

They are now within a goals length away.

A sturdy land of willfull ambition enticing me;

I'm so close now.

 

 

It's then that I see the storm up ahead.

The thunderous clouds of depression rolling in.

My bliss ignorance of a false sail leaving me, and a total perception of my failed life envoking me.

The electrifying past of my every mistake, of every sorrow I've ever caused, bolting down on me all at once;

Knocking out all remaining passion, pushing me back under the rough waves of lonliness.

Down into the black nothing my mind tells me I deserve, drowning out my pleading heart.

Drowning me from the inside out once more.

My soul just drifting around in this unknown world untill the day my Lord recieves me;

Waiting.

Waiting for one glimpse of hope the faint love in my heart has faith is coming;

To pull me out once more, before the horrors of my mind tug me under;

 

 

As always consistant with my slipping sanity.

 

 

    

    

 

Author's Note

sorry if this is too extreme, something i needed to get out, i would love your opinion on its understanding tho

Reviews

[becca]

Even though this is quite an emotional poem it's something I very strongly relate to. Being a person with depression I feel like this does accurately represent what being depressed really feels like. I hope you're still writing considering this poem was over a decade ago.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

I like it..so much emotion in this poem.
Great Job