Sorrow Seekers

Got bored/Facebook keeps freezing/spent too much time on deviantArt and Trade Me so I wrote a poem

Forgiven a roses thorn but never a jealous friend,

Forgotten the words but never shall the heart mend,

Fovever hearing whispers, softly left unspoken,

 

Picking up the shards but the mirror is still broken,

Pieces of a puzzle but one could never fit,

Pacing in the candlelight yet no candles are lit,

 

Heal will the wounds but the reflection is left scarred,

Halation on a photograph and the memory is marred,

Hither you come to hide from all of the pain,

 

Fathomless hatred knows no gain,
I can see the choir but they shall never sing,

Live to eliminate the sorrows that others seek to bring.

 

By A.Miles (me)
Age:15

Author's Note

Sorry if it's dumb

Reviews

[Chris]

you should post more... Expressing your thoughts isn't dumb - and keeping the emotions inside hurts more.

[Emrick]

Beautiful idea.Thumbs up.

[pixieheart97]

Thankyou emrick :)

[Bare Trees]

Not dumb in the least, for something written on the spur of the moment, you did a wonderful job of writing. I wish I could do the same. Great stuff.

~Pendragon~

[pixieheart97]

Oh thanks :)
And I'm sure you could!

[Bare Trees]

:)

[Sami Khalil]

Nice poem... So many good lines...

[pixieheart97]

Thank you Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...

[Craba]

Far from dumb, I could put a melody to this in my head.
I sing in a band, and i think this is amazing.

[pixieheart97]

Oh thanks.
Thats so cool. Do you have any videos? I would love to hear you guys :)
Your comment means the world to mean as I would like to be a singer when I finish school and I've never been able to write songs. lol.

[AngelBeat]

wow, i only saw this NOW.. I'm sorry : I really like this though

[pixieheart97]

Ha, thanks Ree

[Sujash I. Purna]

It's great to say in a word. I never knew one can write such a poem when one gets bored by paltry things on the internet! Brilliant!

The lines have a very curious style and it makes it readable to the end. The thoughts you've poured into them are the ones that are great! You've nailed it well!
Keep it up!

[pixieheart97]

Thankyou Sujash :)

[Amelie]

Hi, just a few suggestions on your lovely piece if you don't mind :)

Picking up the shards but the mirror is still broken,
- Picking up shards from a mirror, unbroken

Pieces of a puzzle but one could never fit,
-Here lay pieces of a puzzle, one could never fit

Pacing in the candlelight yet no candles are lit,
- Pacing candle light, yet no candle was lit

Irony/ paradox were used as tools in this piece, the visceral imagery is alive, you may just want to consider the form of your material. Nonetheless, good job dear, keep that amazing hand writing :)

[pixieheart97]

Thankyou Amelie! I really appreciate your suggestions :)
~Just realized how to reply properly~ :)