Gravity of Love

When the love falls...

One day, an apple fell on Genius inkling
        it broke off the clandestine, escaped through time...

...like the Apple of Newton


....Over the cosmos of a lightly being, the Sun on stagnancy the radiance of its waves,
        and Alas!, it crafted life on Mother Earth.

....The spider tree stood still with a lone leaf on the farthest top of its branches,
and in time it will make its sweet lonely return on Spring Waltz April

....Then quenched the flaming wrath of the dessert.

....The White Dragon slumbered for 100 years on the highest ranges,
until a strange echolalia awaken its deadly decline.

....Into the caves of earth, and each drop made swords sharper.

....Bewildered under the Ocean floor,
        the stars that fell made the deepest trenches.

....Creatures begin to burgeon, like the seed growing over tamed soil,
        descent as a fertilized grain... you were conceived...


In time, you stood with me barefooted, pulled in the middle ... a perfect human,
        the gravity of love made its notion to me that


I fell

...like the waves of Sun
...like a falling leaf
...like the rain
...like the avalanche
...like the stalactites
...like the falling stars
...like an ovum

in love.

Reviews

[Dane Osborne]

This was very cool. Impressive use of imagery and amazing flow. Some amazing lines here:
....The White Dragon slumbered for 100 years on the highest ranges,
until a strange echolalia awaken its deadly decline.

....Over the cosmos of a lightly being, the Sun on stagnancy the radiance of its waves,
and Alas!, it crafted life on Mother Earth.

....The spider tree stood still with a lone leaf on the farthest top of its branches,
and in time it will make its sweet lonely return on Spring Waltz April


To me this had a strong blakean feel in the musicality of the rythm and the way you practially create your own hallucinatory world with its own mythology. Well done.

[D S Rollins]

I love the ellipsis use, I'm just a fan of that...

And I absolutely love the end stanza, it's nice.

[Dalebear]

This poem is bursting out with so much emotion and deep feelings

Dalebear

[Liza]

wonderful imagery bursting with emotion
very talented

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

Ah, I sigh this is pretty,, and so well crafted...I found myself stunned by how absolutely well tuned it is and I find myself challenged to write better..

[Arthur Chua]

I love your writing style- its emotions in motion , and I can see it almost done as a visual animation... very beautifully organized and one almost rides with the waves of your words. Beautiful just as Love is...

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

True enough:
fall in love, succumb to gravity, then finally hit ground.
after which, reality slaps back and you wake up with a broken back and dirt on your face.
But we all enjoy the ride down don't we? :)

Great write kababayan.

Punishment

[Donald Meikle]

First of yours I've read, will now read more. This flows like a teardrop

[Colleen C Dunphy]

i like the way that the poem fell, and you fell with it. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Emily B]

Wonderfully vast like the legends of antiquity.