Jaded Eyes

I was feeling worn-out today. I feel like sleeping but plenty of thoughts troubled me, leading into insomnia. All I can say that my eyes dealt with it too much.

My mind blusters with enormous consciousness,
My eyes tear with glistering drops
On a fiery lamp that lights throughout the night
It intersperses its beauty.

A hot morning that benevolently shines,
I read the notes right through the day
My fingers holler loudly on the keyboard
Crimson lines grow around my eyes.

Reviews

[Dalebear]

I liked this poem and how is described insomnia

Good Write

Dalebear

[Damien Dsoul]

Sombre and trquil with soulful somnolence. I so much enjoyed its vibe.

[Maxinne Marie]

Well wow, your worn-out feeling led you to write this! You are a great writer. I'm amazed at how you seem to write your pieces effortlessly.

Anyway, I like the imagery you've created in this piece. You're so good. =)

[Kara Emily Krantz]

i feel the heaviness to your eyes. the exhaustion, yet perseverence.

great job.

[Shannon K.]

Hey. I really liked this one, but it doesn't seem quite finished, as if it was cut short. But overall, I found it interesting and I did like it. Good job.

[Autumn M. Miller aka Mo..]

Very eloquent and almost lyrical.

[Candid Writer]

This is beautifully written. I like your use of imagery, especially in this line , "A hot morning that benevolently shines." Brilliante mon ami!

[Anhedonia 1349]

Nice work bud.

I only have one suggestion: maybe you should pick a word other than "holler" near the end. Holler, to me, just SCREAMS down-south, uneducated white trash. And I know - I live in Georgia.

=)

I love this. This is very well done.

[Pat]

I get eye strain headaches on occasion. I understand the "crimson lines" all too well.

Very well done.

[A.v. Paul]

I loved this poem, I loved how you perfectly described insomnia. It's the perfect length, as well.

My fingers holler loudly on the keyboard
Crimson lines grow around my eyes.

Those two lines were brilliant. I literally read them over and over. I loved it!