Fallen Keys

 

I watched my love play

In the midnight sky

As she traveled her fingers

Along my forgotten piano

 

The sound reminisces

Her beautiful face

As the wind prowls

Opposing her white silk gown

 

The open sky

Revisited ominously

Darkened her silver hair

Hid her emaciated skin

 

Her fingers augmented

They flew beyond

Lurked into the depths;

With our wedding ring

 

She tackled hard

Against my unsentimental

Making it bellow

With the moon’s vibes

 

She felt it with everything

Crying

With wrath,

She faced me…

 

Her visage slowly melts,

Raised her hands…

With the last fury strike

She made more fallen keys

 

Reviews

[Dalebear]

This had a good imagination and it was creepy and a very good write

[JlB]

It has nice imagry and a dark picture is painted of this creepy, emaciated woman,

it is mysterious and deep,
it's good,
`jb

[Maxinne Marie]

Mysterious. Deep. Haunting. Devastatingly beautiful!

"I watched my love play
In the midnight sky
As she traveled her fingers
Along my forgotten piano"
-A fantastic beginning for this masterpiece. =)

[Autumn M. Miller aka Mo..]

This poem had very good imagery and had an old time feel to it. I really enjoyed this piece.

[Una Xoto]

It was an enjoyable piece. It struck me as somewhat gothic in the literary sense. It all comes across well.

[Troy Baham Jr.]

this was really cool. but u made the music you loved seemed so much like a specter. not really evil just melancholy as hell. so is ur love with music a love/hate relationship.

[John Destalo]

I really enjoyed this poem. It's a well expressed emotion and I love the choice of the piano. The only thing is the fourth stanza, I think it has the potential to be the best in this piece but there was something uncomfortable with the flow.

Really wonderful work.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

i thought i had already reviewed this.. i had certainly already read it, and loved it.

great job with this. both times around, i was captivated :)

[Kira Love]

So mysterious and deep. Excellent work. Your imagery is dynamic. Bravo!

[Dan Giacobbe]

This is very different from what you usually do, and I appreciate efforts to branch out. What's here is good, almost frightening, but impersonal. The story you're trying to tell is very nice, but me, I'd rather see it as a story.
But then, you're a poet, and this ballad is not as much a creation of plot as an expression. It's all very nice.