Hospice

I'm a student nurse and I'm about to see these sceneries... i will do my job as well as others can.

 

 

I let him rest
Not to cure
But to lead him
Into a place
Of endless light
Where everything resonates

Saving his thousand seconds
Preserving his lost thoughts
Breathing his anxious state
I fell symphatetically
Falling deeply,
Wanting to be his last

I read him
With his memories
Pasts and the unseen,
He doesn't listen
And barely breathing,
Somewhat dreaming

He closes his tired eyes
Move his head towards me
I can feel the tantrums
In his veins, it trembles
Still I continue reading
The sorrowful scenes

Then....

I heard him screamed
Like an agonizing pain
Felt deep inside his system.
Suddenlly, he opened his eyes

And...

In a split of a second, his voice...
Dissipates...
Fades...
Tears then fell from my eyes

Eventually,
I lost him...

Reviews

[Sean Allen]

An interesting look a death and the person who escorts you to it's door.
If you lead me to a place of endless light, you needn't be sad. Perhaps the last 15 minutes of my life and who I spend them with will be the most important.

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

I understand this piece. well written.

[Charlie [away]]

Definitely a powerful piece. I would correct the couple grammar/spelling errors - but outside of that, it does work really well. I could hear the scream.

[Dan Giacobbe]

Even when you become a nurse and this sort of thing gets commonplace, never let it stop bothering you as much as it does now. The poem itself was good, but there is again a real-life element to it that adds something: you will experience this, and you know it.
Never let 'em see you cry.

[Anhedonia 1349]

I commend you for your ability to go into a career with the understanding that scenese like these are what you have to look forward to.

Overall, it's very good. The emotion bleeds through, which is nice; there are a few grammatical errors. I saw this one outright:

I heard him screamed

There were a few others, but I didn't want this to sound like a "dissection". And no, I don't mean to sound smug.

*sigh*

Anyway. Wonderful piece. 4 stars.

[(man)~~~~~~lol~~~~~~(dr..]

Alright, not a bad piece! I always try to read the poem first before the description, in case I don't understand it, but I read the poem and fully comprehended this and then it turns out you're going to be a nurse which makes the poem ring with some sort of integrity.

Ahh...and then, the title I didn't understand (I didn't know its definition) but then I look it up and it only mounts to more of the sincerity of your voice. It's good to have people like you, I tell ya, this world is often an ugly scene.

And how do you compose these people you have to treat on a daily basis? Where are the whereabouts of their lives? This line:

"read him
With his memories
Pasts and the unseen"

Seriously. Tough place to be in.

My favorite line is this: "I can feel the tantrums In his veins." Very good description of any illness I've ever heard. An illness having tantrums (or the body's blood). A fight.

Not too sure about any suggestions this time around. I have to say that the way you ended this is probably the most adept way I can imagine happening. "Eventually." Not, "And then" or "Suddenly" or any of those other words that transition us to conclusion and onward. It's a susurration.

Second stanza has to be the most emotionally strongest.

[(man)~~~~~~lol~~~~~~(dr..]

Alright, not a bad piece! I always try to read the poem first before the description, in case I don't understand it, but I read the poem and fully comprehended this and then it turns out you're going to be a nurse which makes the poem ring with some sort of integrity.

Ahh...and then, the title I didn't understand (I didn't know its definition) but then I look it up and it only mounts to more of the sincerity of your voice. It's good to have people like you, I tell ya, this world is often an ugly scene.

And how do you compose these people you have to treat on a daily basis? Where are the whereabouts of their lives? This line:

"read him
With his memories
Pasts and the unseen"

Seriously. Tough place to be in.

My favorite line is this: "I can feel the tantrums In his veins." Very good description of any illness I've ever heard. An illness having tantrums (or the body's blood). A fight.

Not too sure about any suggestions this time around. I have to say that the way you ended this is probably the most adept way I can imagine happening. "Eventually." Not, "And then" or "Suddenly" or any of those other words that transition us to conclusion and onward. It's a susurration.

Second stanza has to be the most emotionally strongest.

[Leah Simone]

It is hard to watch someone dissolve into death as you have witnesses. I hope writing helps ease the pain of loss. -Leah

[Dms]

Beautifully written, though a bit broken at parts. A few minor grammatical errors in the fourth and fifth stanzas.

[Maxinne Marie]

Death. It is a fact that we future nurses will witness these scenes someday.

RC, I love how you used those words to exemplify those death scenes a nurse witnesses. I commend you. =)