Wing

A little ditty about our feathered friends

 

“Wing”

 

Which would I be
If I could take wing,
If I could soar above
The ground,

 

Whose feathers would
Become my cloak,
Whose song would be
My sound.

 

With luck I’d be
A raven black,
Mischief make with
Fancied dread,

 

More likely than not
Just an albatross,
Hang around necks
Once I’m dead.

 

Would I be from ash
Like the phoenix,
Born to rise up from
The flame,

 

Or would I be kin
To the dodo,
Never to rise up
Again?

Reviews

[Anima Inspired]

I like the way that you explored all of the different "types" of birds in this piece, each with thier own distinct "feel". I agree with the other reviewer, I think that we are all each of these things at one point in our life, and this poem shows the growth and exploration of the psyche.

I do feel as though the first two stanzas could be a little stronger...I wouldn't start the piece with "which would I be"...I would go with something more like "If I were a bird" or perhaps just simply with the second line "If I could take flight"...I think that would lend to a stronger introduction and take away a little of the stumbling out of the gate.

Overall, nicely done.

[Blackbirdsong]

I love this poem and how each stanza is different bird. The last stanza made me laugh as it was intended to. Actually I think we're all dodo birds at one time or another, and we're probably also the other kinds of birds at one time or another too. Good job.