the sparrow

i once was a sparrow
a fleeting of dreams
a whisper of words
not more than a shadow

i perched on the shoulder
of one like yourself
who resembled a mother
lonely of child

in night-times i pecked
at her mind
in her thoughts
and pulled from it all
that i desired not to be
the hate and ugly
all that was dark
like myself
and swallowed it up
till my belly was full

i knew of the darkness
i carried beneath my wings
and sought out in her
all that mirrored myself
and pulled it away
so that there might be
one less dark thing
to tremble in this world

Reviews

[John Destalo]

I really enjoyed the flow and the mood of this piece. The emotions feel deep but restrained and I loved the lines "who resembled a mother lonely of child" and "sought out in her all that mirrored myself."

[speakingcolors]

i really liked this. never really thought of a sparrow as a saviour of any sort, but i think that's why i like it. great write.

[darkgurl]

Now this is just wonderful, enjoyed your write

[Hedra Helix]

wow! you know i have a sparrow on my shoulder, you know i know i was one in another life! wow!

second stanza is amazing. I have edit ideas, a couple tweaks, interested in opinion?

oherwise yea pip! yes,heartfelt sighting happy yes.

good day!

f it i read it again its awesome. awwwwsome!