prison

 

 

 

In my dungeon locked away

I’m complacent and subdued

In this cell full of decay

I’m in this hell built by you

 

I don’t know how I got here

This prison all around me

With walls constructed by fear

I’m held in captivity

 

Bricks made of lost hope and pain

Mortared together with woe

I am stuck in this domain

I cant leave, I cant let go

 

The thick steal bars of the gate

Keep me dead, deep down inside

Welded into place with hate

My enlightenment denied

 

Shattered in pieces and parts

Broken dreams cover the floor

I am losing my soul and heart

I hurt like never before

 

I wish I could find the key

So that I wouldn’t have to stay

I am longing to run free

I wish I could find a way

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Oh Pink, this was woefully tragic. The feelings of being trapped and bonded to the emotions of being subdued and imprisoned came through so clear.
I wish I could offer you that key! I would have it fed-ex'd to you straight away If I knew what the lock looked like!

The only thing I would suggest on this piece is in the first stanza. The rhyme seemed forced, as you used the word "Subdue" when in that line it should be "Subdued" to catch the meaning correctly. But at the same time, creative liscence may take presidence as it would mess up the last line of that stanza if changed.

Hugs and well wishes to you Pinky! You're way too nice of a gal, to be imprisoned in such a way!

Your friend,
Ashley

[Tyler James]

'Bricks made of lost hope and pain
Mortared together with woe
I am stuck in this domain
I cant leave, I cant let go'

as tragic as it is written, the imagery of this stanza especially, screamed out to me, really liked it. This is the first of your work i've read, and i'm sure i'll be back for more!

[Adela Muresan]

Yeah, love becomes a prison in the end -_- .

Only time can eventually free you.

A.M.

P.S.: You might want to check out my ,,Trapped,, - it's only two verses.

[thecoolone52]

you should dig like in shawshank redemention hahaha just playing.............. nice write

[Poetic Injustice]

Argh! Really well developed. I escape inward .... sometimes. Seems to work better than the superficial way of chaotic distraction abroad in which my prison seems to go with me wherever. Oy!