prison

 

 

 

In my dungeon locked away

I’m complacent and subdued

In this cell full of decay

I’m in this hell built by you

 

I don’t know how I got here

This prison all around me

With walls constructed by fear

I’m held in captivity

 

Bricks made of lost hope and pain

Mortared together with woe

I am stuck in this domain

I cant leave, I cant let go

 

The thick steal bars of the gate

Keep me dead, deep down inside

Welded into place with hate

My enlightenment denied

 

Shattered in pieces and parts

Broken dreams cover the floor

I am losing my soul and heart

I hurt like never before

 

I wish I could find the key

So that I wouldn’t have to stay

I am longing to run free

I wish I could find a way

Reviews

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Oh Pink, this was woefully tragic. The feelings of being trapped and bonded to the emotions of being subdued and imprisoned came through so clear.
I wish I could offer you that key! I would have it fed-ex'd to you straight away If I knew what the lock looked like!

The only thing I would suggest on this piece is in the first stanza. The rhyme seemed forced, as you used the word "Subdue" when in that line it should be "Subdued" to catch the meaning correctly. But at the same time, creative liscence may take presidence as it would mess up the last line of that stanza if changed.

Hugs and well wishes to you Pinky! You're way too nice of a gal, to be imprisoned in such a way!

Your friend,
Ashley

[Arlen]

I like this, those feelings I've shared once before and still do at times. I guess it's a blessing in disguise for it inspires us to write good poems like this one. Peace

[D. Nelson]

this is very, very good. i get the sense of tragedy in this, as if reading a last ditch plea for help. moving, and a terrific write.

[Sandra K]

Excellent poem! Your emotion and word choice is great as well!

On the other hand, I'm sorry if you feel this way. I think sometimes we all have been in situations where we feel trapped or locked in a cell or ( In my eye, a bird cage). Also, life becomes more difficult for us to handle when we lose control of our own life and someone else takes it into their control. You start wonder about your sanity, and who is really trust worthy. When the kicking and screaming is done, life will fall back into your own hands. The biggest enemy is time, but it will come sooner or later.

Thanks for sharing the work Pinky!

Sandra K!
xoxo

[Flow]

It may have been tragic but it is also true as most of us are our own worst jailers. it is a true reflection how our actions and failures can land us in a jail that is immaginary but also strong enough to hold us at bay. Another wonderful write of yours as you explor the world around you.

[Bellarina]

This makes me want to reach out and throw you this key. The pain and anguish that one can feel can sometimes lead us to forget what's going on around us. Definately a good writing. Sad, but good.

[Brandon]

This is a great piece. Very well written.

[Windy]

WOW, Now that was some poem. Alot of anger, fear, pain... Great flow and ryhme and really good imagery. another good job. congrats :)

[Cassandra]

Pinky this is such a sad poem... a person losing herself. Being locked away from herself by people who hurt her..or bad situations that keep her bolted in them. strong sad write.. but good all the same.

I especially liked

"The thick steal bars of the gate
Keep me dead, deep down inside
Welded into place with hate
My enlightenment denied"
.. my enlightenment denied.. I never thought of it as something that could be suppressed..more like something that is part of your soul.. and yet this whole piece speaks of its suppression.


Shattered in pieces and parts
Broken dreams cover the floor
I am losing my soul and heart
I hurt like never before .... each stanza speaks like a cut on the speakers heart. Beautiful though.

[larryb]

Written with much feeling, i liked a lot........

[Sarah]

Great poem, filled with dark imagery. I enjoyed reading this.^^