limited

 

 

 

Built in anxiety

Immobilized with fear

Life in obscurity

longing to disappear

 

Guarded behind your wall

Protected, your safe place

Never living at all

Your potential disgraced

 

The only true failure

Is not to even try

Life can be a treasure

Don’t let it pass you bye

Author's Note

About a dear close friend of mine... i care and worry about him! I can only hope one day he breaks the wall down.... i think it works!

Reviews

[angelina neves]

Uau! It is very beautiful and so true...
It is very sad to see so many beautiful people imprisioned inside the walls they construct themselves and let dry and die all the potential they have...
afraid? ... but, as you say so well, with no need to be as: "The only true failure /Is not to even try/ Life can be a treasure/ Don't let it pass you bye" - and we are all here just trying! No one can say "I failed" because life is about living the best we can and think it is good for us...
wonderful!

[Flow]

So many people just go through life never taking chances on experiencing all that life offers us. Yet again another wise poem from your pen.

[[untitled]]

So true. I think you did a great job on this. It says a lot in just a few lines and it really makes you think. I hope whoever he is breaks down the wall and lets you in! Good piece

[Lyra H]

Great message and excellent flow. Good job!

[jen -- JG]

Well done! It shows the depths of despair from the point of view of a friend. This friend sees the pain, the loss, and the missed opportunies and tries to impart the truth that feeling this way is not a sin, but not trying to help oneself is. You show compaaion and understanding and offer words of wisdom and hope.

There is no failure in trying, there is in NOT trying.

A good write well done


jen

[Adela Muresan]

A kowel way of expressing that it is better to feel pain than nothing at all- life being worth living even if it puts you down.

Good write Pinky, thx for sharing.

A.M.

[Pinky]

No it wasnt a typo!

[Sarah]

I love this! Rhyming poetry always seems to capture much more emotion than unrhyming poetry, imo. And this works really well with the shorter lines! I really loved the final line, and the use of "bye" instead of "by" (if that was a typo - it ended up working really nicely! XD) Great job with this. ^___^

[Kevon]

This is good, did u mean to end the poem with bye because if you did, the I think that would be wonderful. passing b, kissed that missed opportunity b y e.cool

[DeAn]

this is simple and sweet. straight to the point I think. it has area for improvements, but at a first look it holds it's own.

great job.

l8r g8r
-Tao