Harmony

just read

 

 

Its unbelievable

How hypocritical

This world can be

 

Is it questionable

It is not rhetorical

Why are we so angry

 

Its undeniable

How diabolical

Its clear to see

 

We are destructible

Always so skeptical

We are phony

 

We're dishonorable

And egotistical

We're a disease

 

Its unfavorable

We are commercial

Filled with empty

 

Its inconceivable

How f*****g cynical

We all disagree

 

We are vulnerable

Trapped in a cubical

Stuck in agony

 

We are disposable

It is historical

Insignificant fleas

 

Could be admirable

Together be musical

One harmony

Author's Note

it kinda reads like lyrics to a speed metal song... idk... just please let me know what u think!

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

i liked this - yes i can definitely hear the lyrical quality of it. the rhymes were great. i really apprecaited the unique rhymes and flow you had within the verses

"Is it questionable

It is not rhetorical

Why are we so angry"

that was my favorite verse.

these are thoughts i think a lot, but have been unable to get out into words, especially poetry. so great job with this. something different for you, and very well handled :)

hugs

[Tyler James]

the human race, funny or what!?

you managed to capture aspects of mind, outlooks on life and whole lot more in this. The words left the page and resonated with me, leaving me with the ending of hope spawned through desperation.

[[untitled]]

It's so reminiscent of John Lennon's imagine but in metal. I like it. Very well done. All the questions we want to ask but have no answers to. Good piece.

[Flow]

well I think it is really good i like your choice of words and how it flowed together. I never heard any speed metal so I cant tell if it fit that, but I can tell you it is really good!

[Cassandra]

Throw a chorus in there, a bridge and you got a song. Great write. I hate what our world has become and you describe where we've gone wrong. I like the frustration in this and the full-syllable words. This reads really well and I commend you on it.

[justjenn_2u]

Yes, what we could be. Sickening what the world has become. Funny to read this. I just read a poem where another spoke of harmony on the positive side. I guess my mood wasn't just right, I basically said all negative things about harmony. Your poem was right on time with how I felt.

I always enjoy your writing. Miss ya girl.

[Wolfwind Words]

Very much song like. I like the hope in the end that this engenders. Some many issues we face, yet hope carries us through!

Great Write! :)

[Jd Young]

Yes I like it also. It's very alluring in that it discusses the very innards of life. It reads like lyrics, but it has so many layers to it. I find myself thinking of all the things that it can relate to. It's hard to face the harsh realities of life. Human Nature at its truth.

Very well done. Once again, I love the way you create the the type of word imagery. It's amazing.

[larryb]

Yes you hit the nail on the head, its called human nature, well written i liked it :)

[~*666 Draven Von Tepes ..]

Seems some people know what u stand for and others r just plain dumb asses very well done u r very open to what goes on and keep that open dont let anyone bring u down