When I look at you

When I look at you

A Poem by Sarah

When I look at you.

 

When the waves are flooding the shore,

And I can’t find my way home any more. 

That’s when I look at you,

And hope it’s true.

When the dark has killed all light,

And I lose all sight.

That’s when I look at you,

Cause this feeling so new.

When the world is falling apart,

And can’t seem to get back to his heart.

That’s when I look at you,

I know you’ll see me through.

 

© 2012 Sarah


Author's Note

Sarah
A few lines are from a song called when I look at you by miley cyrus...

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Reviews

great flow in such a short write!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very nice poem. I like that you incorporated lyrics (i might have to do that sometime) and you used them well. I also like the simple rhyming it went well with the lay of the poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I loved it! It's amazing. I've never heard of the song, but'll have to look it up.

So sorry that it took so long for me to review!

Posted 12 Years Ago


strong poem

Posted 12 Years Ago


I really like this piece :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great poem. It has nice flow. A few suggestions however. First, on lines 7-8 you have a fragment and it is also one that does not make much sense. Secondly line 10 does not make sense. I would try rephrasing it and not letting the rhyme control your words. Lastly, presentation is everything. Had you not requested that I read this and I came across it by myself I would not have read it due to the rough presentation. Font, style, etc rarely adds to a piece of art such as this. Find a happy medium or just go to the basic font, style, etc. Again, well done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sweet! ^_^ I love it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is beautiful... the only problem is the blocked coloring is too much for me... it distracts me from enjoying your lovely poem.. other than that it's nice. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on March 28, 2012
Last Updated on March 28, 2012

Author

Sarah
Sarah

United Kingdom



About
I am english and am 16 years old. I was born on 13th march. I live in washington in england. I write poems, short stories. books I like: Morganville vampires Fallen twilight harry potter. Fr.. more..

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