the vampires intervew

this is a story about a vampire

"Honestly" thought sean little as he walked to the hall were he was ment to be intervewing a young woman."It coulden't be ghosts or werewolves, it had to be a vampire."

 A woman had came to him this morning, she said she was called lucy and she was a vampire. I didn't belive her of corse, untill she showed me how far she could throw.

My arm still hurt.

 

As I took my seat opposit this monster, if she was a monster she was a buterful one. Almost white hair and imposibly blue eyes.

"So lucy is it" I asked politly almost shaking. She nodded gently and placed her hands calmly on her lap. Such a lady.

"last name"

"Not important" she hissed. I just put a question mark by that.

"So just start from the begining, where were you born"

"paris 1129 march 17th."she said calmly

"Family?"

Lucy paused a moment then said "my mother, father and one brother"

"So start from the begining"

"well, I was17 and mother and father were always arguing."

1146 paris

"Were is mother?" i asked my older brother Jack.

"Busy" he ansered and walked away. I reterned to my room, mother would come when she wasn't busy

anyway.

I seemed like onely a few minutes later there was a scream from my mothers room.Quickely i ran up trying my hardest not to be seen. when I arived the door was open a jar. I carefuly edged along the book caise out of

site. As i peeked round the edge, the curtins were shut and mother was sitting in the chair by her bed my father was leaning over her his eyes gleaming red. He rose from the chair so i backed away, but just as i got back Jack came round and pushed me out so father could see me.

I stood there unable to move or speek.

"what are you doing here" he hissed

"I heard mother scream so i came" I ansered him trying to hold back my tears.

"You should not have come" he growld, I wanted to turn around and run but i knew i couldn't, they were vampires they could out run me.

" I Know i'm sorry." I said I began to back away but jack grabed my arm tightly.

"Foolish girl" he muttered and shoved me forward again, but this time father grabed me by the neck and held me agansed the wall his eyes glowing red and fangs out.

"Please don't hurt me" I cried but he just smiled

"you will thank me later" he chuckeld.

I squeezed my eyes shut so i didn't see.

present time.

"So what happend next" Sean asked a lot calmer now.

"I felt the sharp pain of fangs digging into my neck, then everything whent black. I died. I woke up my neck was hurting but my father and brother were gone. I was left alone." she said sadly.

"I'm sorry, that must have been horible" Sean said with a great deal of simpathy.

"It was but i got use to it, well I need to go you will be speeking with two of my friends later this evening. You are not to ask anything to personal" Lucy said and then began to walt to the door.

"Wait. can I keep the papers?" Lucy turned gracefuly.

"Of corse I have more at home" she she said smiling "you get qutie a collection when you have been around for thousends of years"she laughs, then she turned again and walked away.

Reviews

[TheSweet]

This is slightly strange, but I kind of liked it. It's quite experimental. I'm not quite sure about the starting a new line in random places - it's easier to stick to prose for the less choppy reading.

I think you could also work on your character building. Concentrate on trying to make the characters as different as possible in their speech and movements. With a piece like this, you can afford to add lots of little details about the setting and the characters actions - because it is only a small clip of a story, so you can take the idea and run with it.

Aside from the proof reading, you could have some interesting themes. So without being patronising to your age, ask someone you know who is older to go through and point out the mistakes in grammar and punctuation - but that's simple stuff that is easy to get fixed, so it's no real issue :)

Writing is all about the constant improvement - so keep it up. Thanks for sharing :)