Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

When we landed in California, it was way hotter than North Carolina ever thought to be. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought of this little inconvenience, and there I was, stuck in a long-sleeve. My hands were sweating already and I wiped them on my jeans. Fortunately for us, the Dr. had paid for the hotel, plane and everything in between. We didn't have that kind of money. 

That night, at the hotel, I found out that Mom had requested we have different rooms. Good. I couldn't stand to be around her for long periods of time. She usually just stared at me, as if she was waiting for me to do a magic trick. I rolled my eyes at the thought. I was alone in my room by this point and I took out my laptop. I went to the Dr. Phil website.

When I scrolled down, I saw the description for Monday's show:

17-year-old Alana's mother is terrified of her. She says Alana listens to "witchy" music, worships the devil and has threatened to kill her. Alana's mother has sent Alana to Psychological Hospitals, but nothing seems to be helping. She is afraid for her life and is begging for help.

I scoffed, then burst out laughing. This was ridiculous. I texted Jo and told him to go check it out. After a few minutes, he replied: OMG!! Haha that's funny. I can't wait to watch you on Dr. Phil. He's going to be all like 'This is going to be a changing day in your life' haha!

I rolled my eyes and texted him back: Shut up Jo. :P I'm going to bed. I'll text you later.

Surprisingly, after I'd put away my laptop and laid down, I fell asleep almost immediately.

We arrived at the studio around eleven. Don't ask me why we were taping on a Sunday. I'd never heard of it before. But then, I didn't really know anything about this stuff. The studio was pretty hectic this morning. Some guy gave Mom and I each a coffee and told us that Mom would be going out to talk to Dr. Phil first, and he would tell me when to join them. I sighed and sat down in a room they had taken me to with television so I could watch. 

The show finally started and I saw Dr. Phil open the show and show clips that I had no idea Mom had recorded. Apparently, there had been a camera in my room, showing the music I listen to, all the posters on my walls, and that I wore black all day every day. Seemed irrelevant if you asked me. 

After the clips were over, Dr. Phil introduced my mom and told her to explain why she was there. 

"Well," My mother started. "Alana used to be so innocent. Now, she just hangs out with kids who smoke and do witchcraft." I rolled my eyes. 

"How do you know these kids are doing witchcraft?"

"Well, you heard the music they listen to! What would you think if you were me?"

"I don't know if they problem lies in Alana's choice of music. When we come back, we'll hear from Alana, and later, a special guest gives his personal opinon of the situation."

The show cut for a commercial break and the people (I don't know what they're called) led me out onto the stage. I sat down in the tall chair and immediately hated it. The crowd's eyes were on me, judging me. I put in some headphones, waiting for the signal to be ready, which came too soon.

"We're here with Alana Black, whose mother says is doing witchcraft, worships the devil and has threatened to kill her." Dr. Phil said. "Alana, what's your reply to what your mother has said about you?"

"First of all, I never threatened to kill her; she's just being dramatic. Second of all, even if I did worship the devil, which I don't, whose business would that be? Certainly not all of America's." I replied.

"Why would your mother say you threatened to kill her if you didn't?"

"Maybe she's afraid I'm going to kill her. I don't know. I love my mother. Even if she is dramatic and afraid of her own daughter. The only reason she is afraid of me is because I wear black and listen to so-called 'devil music'."

"Could you name some of the bands you listen to?"

"Black Veil Brides, HIM, The 69 Eyes."

"We actually have a clip from a song by Black Veil Brides called New Religion."

Let's taint the ground

      We will show you how

Your time has come for the new religion

Your voice is proud

Be your savior now

The battle's won for the new religion

We are the unholy

We are the b*****d sons of your media culture

Our minds, eyes and bodies were born of your exclusion

An illusion you hide behind

You don't love a God

You love your comfort

To you we are filth

We are dirty

So be it

We are dirty and unclean

A congregation of the unseen

Together we will set this world on fire

This is the new religion

Amen!

"That's some pretty harsh stuff." Dr. Phil said.

"Depends on what your definition of harsh is. I think my being required to be here, on national TV, with the whole country judging my every word, just because my mom is overdramatic, is harsh. Oh, well."

"Why do you wear all black?"

"What's your favorite color? Mine's black."

Dr. Phil sighed. "We have to take a break. When we get back, Alana and her mother are going to meet a special guest, who will also give his opinion."

Immediately after the cameraman gave the commercial call, I put my earphones back in and closed my eyes. My mom had done some pretty crazy things to me, including sending me to a mental insitution, but this was crossing the line. Not that I really cared what anyone in this place thought of me. I mean, I'd probably never see any of them again in my life. But that wasn't really the point. My life was no one's business, and my religion was no one's business. These people didn't really know anything about me. And I would have liked to have kept it that way. 

Eventually, the commercial break ended and I was forced to take out my earphones. I sighed heavily.

"We're back. I'm here with Alana Black, whose mother says practices witchcraft and threatened to kill her. Before we bring out our guest, I want to talk to Alana about another thing." Dr. Phil turned to me. "Is it true that your mother sent you to a Psych Ward?"

"Yeah, it is."

"And what did that do for you?"

"Nothing. I didn't get to do anything, if that matters. I guess Mom thought that if I went without my 'emo' friends and my 'witchy' music, I'd stop liking them. Obviously, that didn't happen."

"Have you tried to just talk to your mom about these things. About why you like them, and that you love and would never harm her."

"Oh, sure. She won't talk to me though. The only time we talk is when she tells me dinner is ready."

"I remember hearing that you said the last time your mother told you she loved you was almost four years ago?"

"Yeah. When I said we didn't talk, I meant it. No communication."

"Well, I have the lead singer of Black Veil Brides, Andy Biersack, here today. Come on out, Andy." 

I turned and watched Andy walk out. He was my hero. Too bad we had to meet under these circumstances. 

"Now, Andy," Dr. Phil said after Andy had sat down across from me. He had shaken my hand. "I understand that you don't believe in God. Is that true?"

"I'm Atheist, yes." Andy replied in his deep voice. He was wearing a black shirt under his leather jacket, black jeans, and boots. His shorter hair still allowed his bangs to fall over his right eye, which was covered in black makeup. He was wearing his one cross earring, and black leather fingerless gloves. "But I was raised as a Catholic."

"How do your parents feel about you being Atheist?"

"Oh, they support everything I do. Otherwise, I might not have made it as far as I have." Andy looked at me. "I'm sorry your parents don't do the same for you."

"Parent." I corrected. "My dad bailed. Maybe that's why Mom is so crazy now-a-days."

"I don't think your mother is crazy." Dr. Phil said. "Let's bring out Alana's mother, Charity." 

My mom walked out and scooted her chair away from me. She must be twice as terrified with Andy here. I thought sarcastically. I rolled my eyes.

"Why did you move away?" Dr. Phil asked my mother.

"They're both devil worshipers. Alana looks up to this boy. He's the reason she's like she is."

"No, Mom. You are." I said. "If you wouldn't treat me like I'm an outcast in my own home, and actually talk to me about things, maybe you would realize you don't have to be afraid of me. I get enough judgement at school. Do you really think I need that from you, too? I need you to be there for me."

"I can't support a child like you."

"Well, don't worry. I'll be eighteen next week." I got up and walked off stage. I went back to the room they'd put me in at the beginning of the show. The TV told me that the Dr. had cut to commercial. 

I heard a knock on the door, but didn't say anything. "Are you okay?" I heard Andy ask. 

"Fine." I said. I knew I was about to start crying, and I didn't want him to see that.

To my dismay (and surprise), he came and sat beside me on the little couch. "Listen, I don't really know what you're going through right now. To have your mom not understand and treat you the way she does, it must be terrible. But you can overcome it. That's why BVB is here, you know."

"Yeah, I know." I choked out. A tear slid down my cheek. "She hates me, though. She blames me for my dad leaving."

"As long as you know it wasn't your fault. And I do know how it feels to have everyone judging you. But these people, their opinions don't matter. Only yours. This about you."

I sighed and looked at Andy. He smiled, wiping the tears away. "Thank you." I said.

"For what?"

"Everything." I looked at the TV and saw that the commercial break was over. I swallowed and said, "Let's go." Andy followed me back out and we sat down beside one another. Mom had taken Andy's seat while we were gone.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Phil asked. 

"Yep." I replied.

"So, Charity, are you ready to listen to your daughter?"

Mom looked at me. "I guess."

"Alana, tell your mother how you feel." 

I glanced at Andy. He nodded and took my hand in his. "Mom, I love you, but you blame me for Dad leaving. You and I both know that wasn't my fault. And I know I'm probably not the daughter you expected, or even hoped for, but I'm the only one you've got. And I'm grown. We've been at war for almost four years. Why can't you just accept me for who I am and let us move on?"

Dr. Phil looked to my mother. "What do you have to say to Alana?"

"Alana, I know your father leaving wasn't your fault. And I do love you, too. But you're just too far gone. If you don't change, I don't want a relationship with you anymore. And when we get back home, I want you to pack your things and leave."

My mouth dropped open, and so did Andy's. I'm pretty sure Dr. Phil even caught a fly that time. "You really don't want a relationship with your daughter?" He asked.

"No, I really don't." My mother said. If I should even call her that anymore.

"Fine." I replied. "I guess we're done here?" I got up and left again, this time for good. I walked out of the studio. I leaned against the brick wall and cried.