Chapter 7 (They Know)

The graduation party is amazing. All the trees are wrapped in white twinkle lights and there are lanterns hanging from cords tied from one tree to another. There are round tables set up all around the square with lit candles in the middle of them. All the decorations are silver and all the flowers are blue. There’s a tent set up with the food under it and people are all around chatting and laughing.
    The parents had all left their kids here with all the teachers, so I spend pretty much the entire night with my friends, dancing, laughing, and reminiscing along with a lot of picture taking.
    Madam Smith, my favorite teacher of all time, who is usually either funny and sarcastic or funnily impatient and angry, comes by to congratulate me and hugs me. Mr. Hoffman, not covered in chalk for once, comes over to shake everyone’s hand. My crazy English teacher, Mrs. Thorpe, said just says goodbye, good luck in her sarcastic manner. I avoid my History teacher who had a major attitude.
    I’m talking with Miles as we walk down the line to get our food, trying to ignore Will a few yards away as I have all night, especially because Becca wasn’t able to come to the party. The whole night had been great, until now.
    One whiff of the food and my stomach starts churning. One whiff of the fried noodles and I’m throwing up into a trash bag with people jumping back out of the way.
    “Oh my god, Roxy, are you okay?” Miles asks, holding back my hair as I upchuck again.
    I straighten up. My face, back, and chest is burning, even though it’s fairly cool outside.
    “I’m going to get you some water, okay?” Miles says and then hurries away to the refreshments table.
    People around me are murmuring to each other. There are a few others around me who are asking if I’m okay in alarmed tones. Their voices are distant and far away, but I can hear them a little and assure them that I’m fine.
    Miles appears again with a cup of water and napkins. “Here.” He says handing me the napkins.
    I wipe my mouth and clean my teeth before taking a sip of the ice cold water.
    “Are you sick?” Miles asks.
    “No.”
    “What did you eat?”
    “I haven’t eaten anything today yet.”
    “Do you have, like, the flu?”
    “No.” I say, my heart racing just thinking about the truth. “I don’t know.” I toss the empty cup into the trash bag.
    “God, I hope you’re not pregnant.” He says.
    I know it’s meant to be blown off, just a stupid little remark. But the fact that he’s said that, even though I know he doesn’t know, makes me panic.
    “What?” He asks with a smirk frozen on his face. “You’re not--”
    “Roxy, you’re pregnant?” One girl, Lena St. John, exclaims.
    If I hadn’t hated her before, I sure do now. She’s always been a loud mouth, yelling out things without thinking, over reacting, irritable, and just a downright b***h. And we’d been somewhat friends, but she was just one of the people I was just nice to, not actually friends with.
    “Lena, shut the hell up!” Miles snaps, glaring at her.
    But it’s too late. Everyone around me is already murmuring about what has just happened. About me. In no time, it’ll be all around town. I wonder who will find out first--Will or my parents?
    “It’s fine, Miles.” I say. “Really. I’ll call you tomorrow.” And then I turn. I’m able to excuse myself through the crowd, but as I go farther, panic is building up inside me, hearing everyone whispers and feeling their stares. My vision is blurred by tears and I feel on the verge of having an anxiety attack when I smack into someone.
    “Whoa.” Will grasps my arms and holds me up before I can fall. “Roxy, what’s wrong?”
    I can’t answer.
    “What happened?” He asks again. “Rox?” He shakes his head when I don’t answer and sighs. “Do you want me to take you home?”
    Just another choked out sob. I guess he hasn’t heard yet.
    “Come on.” Will says, putting an arm around me. “I’ll take you home.”
    It seems so familiar, sitting in the passenger seat of his car. We used to spend hours just sitting in his truck, parked in the lot overlooking the beach and talking. But it does nothing to soothe the disturbance in my mind.
    He’s quiet on the ride home, glancing at me anxiously every once in a while, keeping a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles.
    “Roxy.” Will says once we’re parked on the street outside my house. “Please, just tell me what’s wrong.”
    By now all my tears have dried up. My head is pounding with a headache and I’m exhausted. I can’t even turn to look at Will, just stare out the window.
    “Roxy.” He says again, touching my hand.
    “Just leave me alone.” I mumble and open the door to slip out the truck.
    I leave him there, looking small and alone. No one can ever make Will look small and alone and here I am, shoving his weakness is his face. But I can’t stand to be in his presence anymore, can’t stand to see the look of concern on his face.
    I go up to my room and change into a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top before crawling weakly into bed. It’s no use trying to remove all the make up yet, which I know is in black streaking running down my cheeks.
    Millie is evidently staying the night here because around one in the morning, she knocks softly on my door. “Rox, you still up?” Her head pokes into the room when I don’t answer and then she steps inside. “Roxy? What happened?”
    I’m still lying in bed, crying. Though not the loud, hard, body wracking sobs that I had been earlier. These were just torrents of tears running down my face while I don’t make a noise.
    Millie walks over and sits on the edge of my bed, her hand touching my back. “Roxy?”
    “They know.” I whisper, holding back a scream. “Everybody from the high school knows.”
    “Even Will?”
    I shrug.
    “Oh, Roxy.” Millie whispers. She moves behind me and lays down, her body curling protectively around mine and wrapping her arm around me as if she can protect me from reality.
    But nothing can protect me from anything at this point. The cat’s out of the bag now and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Author's Note

this story is put on hold for a while. not sure when i'll return.