Chapter 6 (Graduation Day)

When I wake up in the morning, I can find it in myself to be nervous and happy about graduation today. That won’t be until around six so the day seems to crawl by slowly as I work at the diner, but when the clock hits four, I toss my apron under the counter and rush over to Mode.
    Millie is helping me get ready. She does my make up and though I’d been doing my own make up since I was thirteen, it looks better when she applies it. My hair stays wavy.
    Our school colors are silver and royal blue. Of course, the guys will be wearing blue gowns, so the girl will be wearing the silver. Under the gowns, girls have to wear a grey dress and the guys wear black suits.
    There’s always a big party because if every student threw a graduation party, then barely any people would be there so we just combine them. And even though it’s only held in the town square, it’s a formal event held by the town committee and the school.
    When Millie finishes my makeup, I pull my dress off one of the racks. It’s a bandeau dress I’ve made myself. The first layer is made of silver satin and over it from under the bust and down. On the bottom, there are long pieces of fabric sewn over each other to make flowers that are a third of a foot in diameter.
    I noticed that when I zipped up my dress, it’s slightly tight. Not perfectly fitting like when I’d tried it on a couple weeks ago. It isn’t so unfitting that it’s threatening to burst, but just enough that it’s a little uncomfortable.
    Oh, no. I’ll start to show soon.
    “What’s wrong?” Millie asks.
    “My dress is tight.” I say helplessly and I go over to the mirror and turn sideways. There’s nothing obviously wrong. The flow of the dress covers up anything that might be wrong, but it looks like nothing. When I pull the fabric back so that it’s tight around me, there’s no hint of a bump, but I know there will be soon.
    “Roxy, you’ve gotta tell Mom.” Millie insists. “Look, I know you’re scared, but you’re gonna start gaining weight soon. She’s going to notice.”
    “I will.” I promise. “Just not tonight. It’ll ruin everything.” That hasn’t already been ruined.
    Millie looks as if she might object, but says instead, “Don’t fall in those heels.” she points to the sky high silver sandals I’m wearing. “You’re got to be careful from now on’
    We go by the diner so I can see everyone one last time before I have to leave to the school. Students are supposed to be there early.
    “This is it, Roxy.” Dad is saying to me. “You’re graduating from high school. It’s the real world for you now. College and work…you’re not my little girl anymore.” Dad chokes up a bit at the end.
    He’s right. It is the real world for me now and it’s just now that I’m realizing that the real world isn’t going to go easy on me.
    It’s just weird to see him get choked up. He’s got the same wavy blonde hair as I do and the same blue eyes. But he’s also got the warm smile and was the epitome of a father. In a time like this, it was hard to forget.
    “Daddy.” I groan with a laugh and move forward to hug him. “Don’t get all weepy on me.” I say when I withdraw.
    “Who’s weepy?” He growls.
    “Not you.” I laugh again, trying not to put my own meaning into his little speech.
    Mom is crying already, blubbering indistinctly to me as she gives me a hug so tight that it makes me worry a bit.
    Mom, Dad, Liam and I all ride together in Dad’s Mercedes, with Josh riding with Ben and Millie.
    When we get to the school, they drop me off then go to find a parking stall. I hurry around the school to the green lawn in the back. There are white plastic chairs set up in two groups--one for students and one for guests with an aisle going down the middle. There’s a stage in the front with a podium and chairs for the teaches to sit.
    “You look beautiful.”
    I register the voice as I turn to see Will. He’s wearing black dress pants and a light blue button up shirt with a royal blue tie. His hair, like always, is messy, never to be tamed.
    My heart races, but I force myself to act normally.
    “You don’t look so bad yourself.” I say.
    “Eat your heart out.” He says with a airy look, but I know he’s joking when he laughs. “I got you something.”
    My eyes travel down to his hands. Will is holding a corsage made with red tulips. My favorite flower.
    He reaches for my arm and ties the ribbon around my wrist. His hand lingers, holding mine as he gazes at the corsage.
    My heart is beating double time and I want to tell him how I still feel about him, and demand him to tell me exactly what his actions mean and how he feels…and I want to tell him about our baby. But I can’t, because that would just mess things up. It would ruin me more and it would destroy Becca Cooper because I knew that Will would come to my rescue because he always took responsibility for his actions, and I wasn’t so sure that if him rescuing me was the best thing.
    I withdraw my hand, realizing that I’m not objecting to anything. “Th-thanks.” I stutter. I stare at him as if I can read his intentions by just looking at him, but it’s not use. I’m just so confused.
    “Hey, Roxy.” Becca says, appearing next to Will.
    “Oh, hey.” I say, smiling.
    “Exciting, isn’t it?” She asks, grinning and clutching on to Will’s arm in exhilaration. “So which college are you going to?”
    “Oh. Um, I’m not going to college.” I say, trying to ignore the blank shock on Will’s face. “Well, I’ve applied, but I’m just not sure it’s the right time.”
    “Roxy!” Miles is waving me over.
    Thank God.
    “I’ll see you guys at the party?” I ask, faking hopefulness and then hurry over to Miles, Amanda, Lauren and the rest of my group. We all hug each other, laughing, and some crying.
    “…So amazing!” Miles is gushing to me. “I mean, it seems like we just met, and now we’re graduating together! Can you believe it’s over? I feel like screaming. This is all just so incredible. Do you remember the first day we met this year? We were friends, like, right away from the first time we saw each other. Amazing.”
    Miles, thank God, will be staying in Oceanview. He’s taking over his mother’s fashion store, and that’s all he wants to do.
    In a few minutes, things are chaotic. Madame Smith and Mr. Hoffman, my math teacher, are trying to line everyone up alpa order and then we all take our seats.
    I’m grateful that Miles last name is Cahill, so he sits right next to me.
    Dawn Newman, the valedictorian gives and extremely long speech, mentioning something about beginning. Maybe more for me than for everyone else, but we were all leaving something behind today and throughout her whole speech, I was biting back tears, while Miles was blubbering next to me.
    Mr. Dettloff signals that it’s our rows turn and we walk in a line down the aisle to receive our diplomas.
    I hear cheering and screaming from everyone, but when I turn the only people that stand out are my family. Little Liam jumping on his seat, Ben, Josh, Dad, and Millie all cheering and clapping. Mom is crying like a maniac and Aunty Joan and Uncle Raymond are clapping with big grins plastered on their face.
    I throw them a smile.
    “Congratulations, Miss Cardea.” Mr. Dettloff says with a wide grin as he handed me my diploma and shook my hand with his free hand.
    “Thank you.” I beam.
    And that’s it.
    I’m crying as stand next to Miles with the assembled graduated.
    “Congratulations, Class of 2010!” Mr. Dettloff says loudly into the microphone.
    We all shouts and scream and blue and silver hats rain down.
    There’s a sudden roar of conversation as Miles and I hug each other.
    Amanda and Lauren find us and they both hug me at once, then Miles as I go on hugging the rest of our friends. Practically everyone is crying--or the girls anyway. A few of the guys, though not the choking sobs I seemed to be doing.
    Mr. and Mrs. Anderson are with Will when they see me and then wave me over.
    “Congratulations, Roxanne." Mr. Anderson says soberly. He's never been the type of guy that gives hugs or anything else unprofessional.
    This time my grin is forced. “Thank you.” I say. “I’m so sorry, my family’s waiting for me. I’ll see you guys at the party.” And then I rush to meet my family.
    Josh gives me an awkward hug. He’s never been the touchy sort of type. But Ben’s hug is the kind that lifts you off your feet. Mom and Dad hug me at the same time and say how proud they are of me. Millie’s embrace is just tight enough, more comforting than anything. Aunty Joan’s caramel hair tickles my cheek as she hugs me gently and Uncle Ray’s beard/stubble scratches my skin as he kisses my cheek.
    I stare around at my family, taking in their warm and proud expressions, knowing that soon they’ll be looks of disappointment.