Reaching for My Faith within Reality

The barriers are built again -
Never taking down what would have saved
They broke before but not again
I've learned the tricks
I refuse to let myself trust
I'm in my walls trying to rebuild the
Confidence, Dignity, Pride, and Character
I traded for empty moments of bliss
Perhaps I should of sold my skin
For something monetary
I could buy a house
To bury myself in.
Lock up tight so my barriers
Would no longer be metaphor
I will sometimes slice myself
Just to see if I'll still bleed
Because hearts can lie
So I don't trust the beats
But don't get me wrong
I am not doing anything to die
That would involve -
Handfuls of capsulized love
Washed with a cocktail of poison
Followed closely with gun shots
Because if you're going to do something
You might as well go all the way
And do it right
But don't you know my god
Is a tattooed prisioner staring out from 
A basement 
Arching his back with a scratch he can't itch
He's looking to make sense of belief
Cover his tracks with metaphors of how -
He is empty.
But he doesn't know that like him -
I am followed by demons
Vampires sucking the life from me
In the corner of the night I see them
A man in a black suit -
A lady in pale yellow
Their entourage of dark figures standing behind.
He's so dashing,
Her smile inviting.
"Come to us..."
They whisper.
I turn into my apartment.
"Sorry," I whimper, "But you can't have your last meal tonight."