A Path to the Ocean

The long wooden pier
looms before me
a pathway into the sea.

Thunder rages
lightning illuminates the cloudy sky
a contrast from the dark twilight.

I step, barefoot
onto the sagging pier.
I can feel its age.

The splinters are nothing
my mind is far away
this is an escape from thought.

As I approach the end,
I see the waves raging
they have a terrible beauty.

I fling my arms up to the sky
offering myself to the elements.
Lightning flashes.

I laugh as the rain washes down my face

and I
D
I
V
E
into the waves.

Reviews

[Craig Bates]

'I can feel its age.

The splinters are nothing
my mind is far away'

I really like the way this describes a kind of worldly detachment. The way you feel the age of the pier suggests a greater connection to it. The fact you can't feel the splinters suggesting that you don't feel the age through touch but with the mind - both far away and immediate simultaneously. But it isn't through thinking; things just are.

The way you divide the word 'dive' also helps slow things down, helping the reader imagine the body falling into the way, drawn downwards.
Thanks for the read.

[Storyteller of Dimensio..]

Nice poem. I like how you use the 'opposites' "terrible beauty". What cough my eye immediately was the DIVE at the end which the way you made it is just great and great for imagination. Also I can relate to this as I'm currently in Thailand and there is lots of storms here as the raining season starts, so the:
"Thunder rages
lightning illuminates the cloudy sky
a contrast from the dark twilight."
is something I've got to see yesterday and it was spectacular and also "terrible beauty".
And to the end I also like the symbolism and how the poem can be translated in few different ways.