Junkie

The sunlight streaming in through the curtains,

I tell myself is enough. 

The birds outside, chirping,

I tell myself, are singing for me.

I peek through the curtains,

try to flash them a smile as they flutter away.

The people in my head are enough.

The shrinks try to wipe my memory.

I'll never forget being dope sick,

being stabbed by a thousand daggers,

and being given crushed pills,

by people that said: "Trust us! It's pure dope!"

I'll never forget being dope sick, giving money

to people I trusted, who ran away with it,

saying they got caught by the cops.

I'll never forget being dope sick,

with no cash, when people

would ask me to sleep with them for dope.

I'll never forget being dope sick, 

being out on the roads,

with nothing on me, 

trying to score,

and catching the attention of the cops,

who slapped me around and dropped me home.

I'll never forget, trying to score in a slum,

and being slapped around by a mob,

who wanted me in jail.

The world is against me.

I should be afraid.

I should be apathetic.

I've quit the drugs.

I'm still the same bumbling, mumbling fool.

I'll never leave this prison.

I don't want to.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

What a struggle it must have been to quit. An incredible struggle. I would imagine once you have lived this life for so long, even when you quit, you are still imprisoned by your past. Will remembering all this stuff keep you clean? Nature is healing. Keep listening to those birds and enjoy the shafts of sunlight through the curtains. That my friend is a very small start. I enjoyed the composition of this piece, read it a couple of times.

Chris

[pinhead07]

It was indeed quite a struggle, ma’am, I went to rehab, then relapsed, then used hashish to quit heroin, because the withdrawal symptoms were quite difficult to deal with, then I got addicted to hashish, then quit that a couple of years ago.

You’re right, it’s quite difficult to forget, I started smoking dope when I was just fourteen or fifteen, smoked it for a couple of years, most of my stronger memories now are about dope, I still can’t forget how it made me feel, but with the highs came the lows, there comes a time when you're spending a fortune and don't even get high anymore, and being dope sick is pure torture! I now use those experiences and write poems, which does help, it reminds me to stay away from drugs and I hope makes for some good reading.

Indeed nature does heal. I'm glad you enjoyed the composition. I tried switching to free verse entirely. Thanks for the review ma'am! :)))