Reaching Out

It's supposed to be a poem or a type of prologue in the beginning of a story I'm still currently working on, starts out pretty slow, keep reading till end!!

The moaning winds stung my face, as it sent my dark amber hair whirling around my peachy, blushed cheeks. I looked up into the still, chill of the steady flow of the darkness that surrounded me, watching the first snow flurries swirl around me.

I was in my own world, leaving the rushing, crushing city behind me. Nothing in the past didn't seem to matter anymore, I was free at last. (I admit I choked back a couple tears at the thought of this)

Whisking off further into the darkness, hearing the faint murmur of the passing geese, I pause to bury my face in my warm, snug furry coat, inhaling the sweet, greasy smell. 

Skittering across the icy valley, I suddenly feel my legs oozing into the frigid, bleak pond water. Heart pounding, I wonder how I could have let myself die here, from a stupid mistake as accidentally slipping across a frozen pond. After all he had survived and endured for me just to live. It was a waste, pointless to have lived if I was to die this way. I sputtered and gasped for air, reaching out for a hand that should have been there, but was not. How could they take him away from me? I instantly felt my heart being splintered in half, I could no longer be strong and brave even if I tried anymore!

Oh please! Please, please come back! I couldn't go on, I couldn't make myself push on any longer. My eye's were brimming with tears that should have arrived a long, long time ago, the ones I had tried to ignore My body ached, pain swelled up my arms and legs, that seemed hopelessly useless againset the freezing, cold waters that roared in my ear. As my body sank deeper and deeper, being wary and warier, I stopped aguring againset the water current, that happily took me along the waters. 

I needed to see his sweet, coral face again. Anything to be with him, anything to grasp his rough hands in mine, to hear him whisper my name with that soft, melodic flow he talked with, to stand at his side. My worn, honey brown eyes, the very ones he adored, flickered shut for what I thought was the last time, just as I catch a glimpse of a familar lively face, watching, and mouthing something at me from above, something I couldn't quite make out. But it didn't matter, a murky, nightfall blackness was already enclosing on me, looping around with amusement at the new treasure it had swallowed.

Author's Note

There may be a couple mistakes. This poem is just my second draft, may edit it more later...
(In my opinion, you'd have to feel the way she did in towards the end for you to be in love with someone, never wanting to leave their side) -M

Reviews

[futurepast.]

A very descriptive write, and what an imagination!
You brought me into your own world for a while and this write was just beautiful... It seems like I was watching a small movie for a while ... I saw the images in front of me, and this has something to do with the wonderful way you describe the movements, sounds and sight.
I also loved the ending, and the freedom metaphor in this write.
"I was in my own world, leaving the rushing, crushing city behind me. Nothing in the past didn't seem to matter anymore, I was free at last."
Nice write.

[BloodyMary]

LOLz.
She almost died.

[Gypsy]

Thanks.

[Gypsy]

That girl was me...JK

[A.hasnain]

absolutely love it . I love the way it flows, and the beginning is what really did it for me. Love the pathetic fallacy used here, really draws the reader in ! x

[Linear]

Hey now that was so good, if there were any mistakes I didn't notice as I was carried along. made me think of Narnia