Highway

A lost highway road...

Driving down the road,

          my yellow dress waving.

 

Power to peddle.

 

The wind whistles.

 

Outsiders walk the highway.

 

Flashing car lights.

 

Dead, smoked cars pile up.

 

Titles passing.

 

Handshakes, lost.

 

A pestilence of studidity spreads.

 

And me, just smiling.

 

Author's Note

Though it is short, tell me if it has enough discription and great flow and bla bla bla. Please and thank you.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Oh man, this has such potential! Check this out. Leave out the "my" in the 2nd line. And instead of "whistles" I'd choose "whistling". Instead of "outsiders walk the highway" how about "outsider walks the highway"? much cooler, more mysterious James Dean feeling. But then everything else is perfect. I really like this poem, wish I had written it. lol

[Michael Carr]

I enjoyed it. very simple and deep.
short but conveys a mysterious feeling of calm.
great job.

[Sarah]

Wow, this was kinda creepy. o= Such graphic, mysterious imagery and then the last line. Excellent job!

[SilentDream]

It isn't easy to make a 10/40 not feel forced. You did a great job :)
I like the flow and visuals very much.

Pen on poet!
((Hugs and LOve)) ~SilentDream

[ANNA]

OMG girl! Your writtings get amazing very time I read them! Your short piece bring a power and drive and I wish you knew how you do it
Much lov n
respect,
Anna

[Tony]

I am a big fan of poems that say a lot in a few words.
I really enjoyed this one. It covers a LOT of ground, no pun intended.
Nice.

[Helena]

This was intriguing indeed. I read quite a few things into this.
Visually it was fantastic, you used the words seamlessly into
your poem. Well done!!

Thank you for joining the 10 word challenge with this great
write.

Helena :)

[Nova]

Okay, I'll answer your questions. Yes, I think it has a good flow and description of the person's feelings. To me it seems like the person has finally been set free but I don't think thats what you intended. This was short but sweet.