Broken Mirror

giving a voice to the oppressed

   Shards of glass, from a broken mirror, laid scattered around her. The cuts in her knuckles left her with pinches of discomfort, but mostly, regret. She sat on the cold, damp floor with her head between her knees, over shadowed by the darkness of inner demons. All their words kept replaying in her mind; each feeling like a stab to the heart and nourishment to the growing self-hate. She remembered the day; the boys mocked her feminine clothes and the tiny ragged doll she clenched tightly in her little fists. When she finally made it to college in her late teens, she was derided for wearing a crimson shaded lipstick on the very first day; and so, like a delicate rose crushed by the weight of a strangers step, she sat in an isolated corner with no friends and an abandoned dignity. She remembered it all. The memories replayed themselves over and over.  

   Life in the real world became worse. Her educational achievements were never appreciated. The most she could land with was a job as a tailor's assistant, at a shop resting in the untouched part of Karachi. Customers sneered and ridiculed the owner for hiring such a blasphemy, business was lost to a pool of ignorance; so she ended up on the streets of the city that gave her nothing but misery. Her education was never approved, nor was she. She didn't know who she was anymore. In her youth, she saw herself earning a decent living with the degree she held; a degree that sat on a shelf, filled with the dust of forgotten dreams. It was of no use to ‘someone like her'. To society, this person was a joke. She found others like her, living in the darkness of this, ‘City of Lights'. The job she found was associated with illegal means and the taste of a night life. Work was needed to meet ends, and if the world saw her as nothing but a social pariah, she decided to live with that label; a label that gave her nothing but abuse, pain, and degradation. 

   The cuts and bruises on her body came together like a distorted map with each road leading to a memory of the worse kind of customer she experienced. The constant shame rang like bells in her head. With the incessant ringing in her head, she got up from the floor and collected the larger pieces of the glass. She approached the broken mirror and tried fitting in whatever piece she could find with some glue.  It took her a while to repair the broken mirror, but it still had pieces missing and irreparable cracks. All she saw was her twisted reflection.

    Suddenly her eyes caught a glimpse of a photograph dangling helplessly in between the mirror's glass and its hazel colored border. She held the wrinkled photograph, delicately between her fingers. It was a dated photograph of a little boy shielding himself from the summer sun with the help of books. A school bag seemed to weigh his tiny body down, but he still managed to crack a toothy crooked smile in this photograph. The girl recognized this little boy smiles and the brightness in his eyes. She looked into the broken mirror and noticed the brightness had faded away. The sun's rays peeked through the holes of curtain's cloth as dawn approached. The light rays gently touched her back and continued to illuminate her body as she removed her wig and rubbed the mascara smudges from her cheeks. As she continued to stare into the broken mirror, she finally managed to crack the same toothy crooked smile.   

Author's Note

the treatment of transgenders in Pakistan is horrifying. Many are pushed towards begging on the street or prostitution. Various NGO's and welfare groups however, work towards giving them a better and respectable life.
( for some weird reason the font keeps changing itself every time I try to edit it
please try ignoring it)
hope you enjoy :)

Reviews

[.]

Wow, Pia! A very deep story!

I suspect this is a fictional piece with a realistic slant?
Whatever your angle this is an extremely well written and emotional piece of writing.

You have deftly described the emotional turmoil that your character has gone through in life; the rejection, isolation, degradation and loss of self worth inflicted on her by the remnants of a strict society. One cannot help but feel sorrow for this character you have created and that in the end you can give her reason to smile, despite all her woes, is the mark of a quality writer.

I enjoyed this story very much. For the fiction it is and the realism that it is grounded in. You are quite the social justice warrior, Pia. Words are your pathway to change. Very well done.

[pia]

thank you so much for such a nice analysis !!

[Einstein Noodle]

nicely told pia ...transgender people are coming to the forefront these days, in the US ...i can't help but think how tough life is anyway for most people ...finding our paths ..earning enough to pay our way ..maybe save a little .. so many people who are out of the norm in one way or another ..mental illnesses, disfigurement, etc. ... struggle all the more ... your story has brought out the anguish and self loathing transgender people so many times go through ... i like your work with the mirror ..and that your protagonist tries to put it back together .. i think that is very significant in your story
E.

[pia]

Thank you so much !!!

[Gul]

Pain pierced my heart when I think about the life of transgender. I get goosebumps by imagining the life of them.

You perfectly put it in your writing.

[pia]

Im so glad you enjoyed it

[AYVID N]

I am so glad she still found something to smile about! Brought tears, this write, so touching and beautiful. Our country is no different in their treatment of these misjudged children of God. Awesome write Pia!

[pia]

Thank you so much !!

[AYVID N]

You are welcome :)

[KeeD]

Wow! "a delicate rose crushed by the weight of a strangers step" this one line was so powerful, it drowned me into the story, I anchored in, completely submerged by your words. "living in the darkness of this, ‘City of Lights'" it crushes me to have someone who is meant to be so expressive and proud to be different, lost to the shadows in a city filled with bravado. I love how you immersed us in her shoes and how I desperately yearn to see that toothy crooked smile even though for me the subject matter might be fiction I know the reality behind it. Being from India the situation here is the same when it comes to the treatment of Transgender human beings. All I know is our helpless hearts beats to the silent music of change for their plight. Great write, I never read stories on this site because mostly they're long and frankly not captivating enough but you're my new favourite read.

[pia]

I am so glad you enjoyed my work
!! Really made my day

[Alex Ware]

Wow, I didn't really realise what it was about until a good way through it, it's a good reveal and a very insightful and emotional piece for people like me who don't know about how transgendered people are treated. It's also very well written :)

[pia]

Thank you so much !!

[Ghania]

Amazing. It would be an understatement to say this was good. Cuz what you've written, is really, really worth reading.
You are right. here, in Pakistan, Transgenders are considered filthy beings and treated no less than a trash. I really condemn such a behavior. Let's pray the so-called humans achieve humanity.
Bless you.For giving a real gem essay :P

[pia]

Thank you so much !!

[Ghania]

You're Welcome :)

[emmajoy]

Perhaps if people realised they are all, every one of them, different from the person inches away, they might understand how there by the grace of the gods.. .. then focus on improving own attitude, personal life and looks from inside out.

There have always been people of different disposition but in these days when anything goes at the local movie house or in the media.. folk are swayed and mislead. The way minorities are treated is an insult to the so.called CIVILISED society we live in. The old saying figures: Cut me and i bleed.

This is more than fine writing, this comes from both heart and mind and should and must be acknowledged as such.

[pia]

thank you so much Emma !!

[Kurban Ice]

Really loved this, it was very good writing and I really think you got talent

[pia]

thanks Kurban !!

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe everywhere. Things not understood. Scare many people. Thank you dear Pia for sharing the needed and powerful story.
Coyote

[pia]

Thank you!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Pia.

[Jiya]

It's really very good. I think that you are the next khaleid hossseini. I love reading your work.
Keep writing!

[pia]

I don't know whether to feel flattered or humbled for being compared to a legend like Khaled Hosseini. He's one of my favourite writers. Thank you so much Jiya !!!