Who am I? I struggle to go forth with this question for the
sole reason that; I do not know who I am. I keep erasing sentences as i move
forward. The struggle to form the image of my ‘person’ leaves me unhinged in a world
of perfect and imperfect perceptions I have of myself. Am I the person I
believe I am? Or am I what others think of me? Unable to cope with expectations
and requirements from the world, my ‘person’ breaks away from me. It has a mind
of its own now. A mind stronger than
mine, it takes over my emotions. It takes over every bit of me. I’m but a
puppet working on what it wants. However, it doesn’t know what it wants....it
changes every day. It changes when I meet people. It changes when I’m alone.
My ‘person’ reshapes its consistency as I surround myself
with others. It lets me laugh, joke, speak my mind. It lets me be an extrovert;
gaining everyone’s attention by being the feather-brained ‘person’ I tend to be.
I love being the centre and making the world revolve around me. It’s
pretentious but, it’s my ‘person’. Suddenly, the centre collapses into a dark
meaningless pit of shattered morale. I crawl back into the box I conceal my ‘person’
in. The ‘person’ too scared to show itself, fearful of self- doubt and
rejection. The ‘person’ needs some time to regain motivation. I’ll wait while it restores its courage and
emerges back. This time different again.