My Person

i tend to go through extreme emotional cycles (everyone does).

 

Who am I? I struggle to go forth with this question for the sole reason that; I do not know who I am. I keep erasing sentences as i move forward. The struggle to form the image of my ‘person’ leaves me unhinged in a world of perfect and imperfect perceptions I have of myself. Am I the person I believe I am? Or am I what others think of me? Unable to cope with expectations and requirements from the world, my ‘person’ breaks away from me. It has a mind of its own now.  A mind stronger than mine, it takes over my emotions. It takes over every bit of me. I’m but a puppet working on what it wants. However, it doesn’t know what it wants....it changes every day. It changes when I meet people. It changes when I’m alone.  

 

My ‘person’ reshapes its consistency as I surround myself with others. It lets me laugh, joke, speak my mind. It lets me be an extrovert; gaining everyone’s attention by being the feather-brained ‘person’ I tend to be. I love being the centre and making the world revolve around me. It’s pretentious but, it’s my ‘person’.  Suddenly, the centre collapses into a dark meaningless pit of shattered morale. I crawl back into the box I conceal my ‘person’ in. The ‘person’ too scared to show itself, fearful of self- doubt and rejection. The ‘person’ needs some time to regain motivation.  I’ll wait while it restores its courage and emerges back. This time different again. 

Reviews

[N.]

I love this piece because it pull back the curtain and we get to see what you are going through while trying to figure out who you are. Which to be honest, I think we all thought at sometime or another in our lives. It is a very vulnerable piece which to me was very courageous of you to put it out there. Thank you for sharing a piece of you with the world. N.

[pia]

Thank you for your analysis on it !!!

[N.]

No. Thank you for writing something so raw and real.

[lightsong]

Yes my dear friend, we all need our time alone to relax, to calm, to recharge, to connect with our inner, then to get back to our true selves, sometime we need an outsider motivation, like a real and close friend, and sometime, You don't need anything but Yourself, You know Your "Person", You just get confused sometimes in this world, and around the many people, many masks, many fake ones... when You have some doubts, You can ask a close trusted person to You about Your own self, they might give a remark You don't even notice about Yourself, or even give You some courage and confidence.

All the best for You~

[pia]

Thank you for such a wonderful review !!

[Ghania]

"It has a mind of its own now. A mind stronger than mine, it takes over my emotions. It takes over every bit of me. I’m but a puppet working on what it wants. "
"My" person drives us in many ways. Taking over us. Over-whelming. And playing with us.
You said, "too scared to show itself, fearful of self-doubt and rejection."
CORRECT! So true.
It changes with people, timely. My English teacher once said a similar text. "A person has many faces"
And there are many to whom only he is known to. A face in society. A face with friends. A face with family. And a face of Him only.
Amazing! Well-done. :)

[pia]

Thank you for such a wonderful analysis !!

[Ghania]

Very Welcome. :P

[alanwgraham]

Strangely enough I have been pondering the very same question and working on a poem. However, as you have acknowledged, the question of 'who am I?' is an impossible question to answer or perhaps it is a question with many answers!
You have made a good attempt at considering an answer.
Regards,
Alan

[pia]

It is something worth pondering over. It opens up a vast space for discoveries

[Zoya]

Yours words are very relatable...every time. Often our low self-esteem holds us back from being the person we actually are. Mind has the full control over our body. All our moves then require great planning and thinking...or else the real me hidden inside might mess things up.
"A mind stronger than mine, it takes over my emotions. It takes over every bit of me. I’m but a puppet working on what it wants." - lovely lines.
Good work!

[pia]

thank you so much Zoe
i always love your reviews and your write as well
(hearts)

[Zoya]

Aw, thank you! And no problem at all (hearts back)

[Mustafa]

a very nice describing in who tour person is

[pia]

Thanks !!!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Many people struggle with self confidence and overcompensate by becoming the life and soul of the party. Comedians are often victims of this as are other performers. Everything is fine when they are 'acting' or wearing their mask but beneath there rages uncertainty and self depreciation and doubt. This was readable if in need of a polish.

[pia]

Thanks john!!

[Vic]

I think many writers are "changers" with time and events, never the same person twice. Imagine being the same person your whole life... how boring. Keep writing :)

[pia]

Thanks vic!!

[The earth (Titan maphah..]

lovely work and a job well done.... friend

[pia]

Thankss!!!

[The earth (Titan maphaha)]

you are welcome

[J Kim]

To Pia:

This piece was very beautiful and spoke to the depths of perpetually re-inventing the self. Day to day, we offer so many different personas, changing to suit the demands of our environments or moulding to the expectations of others.

There were certainly undertones of suffering, of yearning, of succumbing to the demands that your 'person' faced, and I found it to be quite relatable. Not often are we given the chance to really show our true 'person' to others. Part of this is due to fear of a lack of acceptance, and that resonated deeply in the latter part of this piece.

It read very personal, and sometimes opening up is one of the hardest things for a writer.

Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with us!

Cheers,
- J

[pia]

Im so glad you liked this !!!
Thank you for reading

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Pia,
"My Person" was a view into the realities of how complex and multilayered someone can be. We are influenced by others and then also can become burned out.
"I love being the centre and making the world revolve around me.Its pretentious but, it's my 'person.'
Being a people centred soul is also exhausting if unchecked; "Suddenly, the cetre collapses into a dark meaningless pit of shattered morale. I crawl back into the box I conceal my'person' in...The 'person needs some time to regain motivation."
Even these experiences level out for we all change progressively. Loved reading your essay of life.
Blessings to you.
Kathy

[pia]

Thank you for giving me such a well written analysis !!

[Kathy Van Kurin]

You are welcome! It was a fun and thought provoking reading. "Analysis" as you have mentioned is a good thing to do.
Kathy