Christmas Memories

A little fun story about Christmas

Christmas memories

 

 

Christmas is coming

It soon will be here

With Santa and sleigh

Pulled by his reindeer

 

So what can be expected?

From this season of joy

Will the family come visit?

With a house full of toys

 

Or will it resemble

Our Christmas last year

The one best forgotten

The one I still fear

 

On last Christmas eve

All the decorations in place

My wife bought so much

There was not enough space

 

Our children were excited

They knew they were good

Getting my more than they wanted

As they knew they would

 

Last Christmas was busy

Everything needed to be done

No presents bought assembled

Not even just one

 

My wife tried to help

Christmas eves in the past

It always ends in an argument

For the whole season to last

 

Piles of toys to assemble

My wife pretending to care

Began reading the instructions

I said, “don’t you dare!”

 

She understands all to well

The trials fathers go through

Assembling every last toy

And the stress that is due

 

It all came together

A screw left over or two

Reading instructions isn’t manly

I believe real men never do

 

The evening battle now over

Every toy ready for play

Breaking none while assembling

But how long would they stay?

 

How could the children know?

The anxiety I went through

Their presents now wrapped

But the bill was still due

 

The children woke up

With the crack of the dawn

Not bothering to see

Was there snow on the lawn

 

My wife and I exhausted

Relaxed in our bed

Then over the footboard

Popped both the kids heads

 

“Santa was here”

In one voice they would shout

I moaned, “ Go back to bed”

Trying to tune the noise out

Our children still screaming

Moving our bed all about

Jumping around in excitement

Till the box spring gave out

 

They both started laughing

Jumping on our broken bed

Then my son shouted out

“Lets sit on dad’s head”

 

So I tossed and I turned

Shook the covers a bit

Both kids then fell out

And the floor they would hit

 

The bed battle now over

From the covers we got out

My son still was laughing

But my daughter would shout

 

“Daddy’s wearing a thong”

“Cover your eyes now”

My wife looking stunned

Shouted out “Holy cow”

 

Just a joke for my wife

Meant for her eyes to see

With my children now present

The joke turned on me

 

It was a colorful thong

With bright red and green trees

But my stomach hung over

Almost down to my knees

 

Our children ran screaming

All the way out the door

Turning to my wife winking

I said “Wait there is more”

Then shaking her head

Out the door she would go

Not caring to see

Any more of the show

 

Proud of my victory

I too walked out the door

But my in-laws were visiting

In the bedroom next door

 

My son still was screaming

“That’s gross,” he would shout

My in-laws now awake

Popped their heads out

 

I stopped in my tracks

Like a deer in spot light

Her mom fell down fainting

From the stress of the sight

 

Her dad just stopped

While rubbing his head

Said, “I hope she just fainted

And not really dead”

 

“Our premium was due”

At the end of last week”

So he nudged her a little

Closed his eyes not to peak

 

Looking up from the floor

At my physique from below

Covering her eyes with both hands

Shouting to him “Honey lets go”

 

Dad looking down at her

Answered her in reply

“It’s not that bad dear”

Laughed then started to cry

My son started laughing

As his knees became weak

Then grabbing his camera

My picture he’s sneak

 

Running back to my bedroom

As quick as I could

Knowing the digital image

Would be used for no good

 

All the family now laughing

They all fell to the floor

My mother in-law praying

“God don’t let me see any more”

 

My wife walked away

Looked outside for some snow

Too embarrassed to see

Any more of the show

 

After all settled down

To the den we would go

Putting behind one and all

The dawn’s early show

 

With last year behind us

And this Christmas now here

I hope it will be joyful

For friends far and near

 

For this Christmas card

Is as good as can be

Greetings from all of my family

With this picture of me