Loss

A story about life continuing. We love a person maybe for their personality, but the soul continues. The personality is an expression of the soul's lessons here on earth

Loss

 

I was sitting alone in thought

Depressed and alone in my heart

Wondering where to begin

How could I make a new start?

 

For my life of many years

Had ended with the event gone by

Not caring or wanting direction

Starting anew not wanting to try

 

Sitting alone just missing her

Not caring if tears would fall

Wondering what was to become of my life

Losing her I felt I lost it all

 

How was it she played her part?

As my lover and closest friend

Taking for granted our moments together

Until on the day they would end

 

For the cares of this world once consumed me

And business would take me away

All this I would give up in a moment

If for one moment with her I could stay

 

With her as my wife by my side

Through all of the years we would go

When I felt battered and beat and knew of defeat

She was there for me this I know

 

Sitting on a bench broken hearted

Not noticing what was around

With eyes closed and face hand covered

My head was bent to the ground

 

A voice from a woman walking by

Asked Mr. Are you okay?

Looking to her with watering eyes

What was it I was to say?

 

Are you hurt, said the woman to me?

Her hand gently reaching for mine

Looking to her without thinking

I replied, no I am fine

 

You look like I do when I’m hurt

Can I help you is what she asked me?

There was no point in discussing the matter

What help could anyone be?

 

Thank-you I replied back to her

But right now I’d rather be alone

There is nothing anyone can do

I want to sit here and be on my own

 

Sadly her eyes would look down

Her head she would then turn away

Her manner was like someone I knew

From the shadows of my yesterday

 

I lifted my head to look at her

All she wanted was a friend to talk to

She asked to sit on the bench

To spend just a moment or two

 

What is the problem, she gently asked?

Have you lost someone close to you?

Or is there some other problem?

And you simply don’t know what to do?

 

I could no longer hold my grief in

So I wanted to ask a question or two

Asking her would this be all right?

Nodding her head was all she would do

I asked have you ever lost someone?

Yes, this is the reason I am here today

We each have had someone taken from us

But we all must go our own way

 

How long has it been since they left you?

She replied, time doesn’t matter very much

Does the passing of time from the moment

Mean I’ve lessened the feel for his touch?

 

No I’m sorry was my only reply

Sometimes I just don’t know what to say

I feel lost not knowing what to do

Loosing the Will to find my own way

 

She said, he was always out working

So many things I would do on my own

Then there were times I’d look at the door

Just waiting for him to come home

 

He would leave in the morning at dawn

Then I would wake up to start my own day

Sometimes on the pillow beside me

A rose he would leave on his way

 

No you don’t miss them any less

But you will learn that life still goes on

So your life should always have meaning

As you wake each day with the dawn

 

How do you handle this being so young?

With your whole life ahead of you

The same way you should looking back

There is nothing else you can do

 

This answer she gave back to me

Seemed without emotion and with little care

Was she trying to be honest, I wondered?

Looking past her blue eyes I would stare

 

You’re startled by my answer to you

I’m being honest so you answers you will find

By giving the truth as I see it

I’m trying my best to be kind

 

The truth is you will always miss her

Each day from the moment she passed on

But you have past memories to hold on to

In your heart she will never be gone

 

This is little comfort I know

What is it she would want you to do?

Do this every day from now on

For the rest of your life to go through

 

For you know how much she still cares

You still feel her within your heart

She loved you from the moment you met

You both knew this right from the start

 

Her answer was gentle and assuring

How was it this woman did know?

For I had said nothing about her

Only that I did miss her so

 

Why was she there seated next to me?

On this bench by the cemetery wall

I wanted God to take me away

Wishing one more time to her my wife’s call

 

Why is it you have come here?

A question she’d ask of me

Look all around raise your eyes from the ground

Then tell me what is it you see

I only see loss in rows standing

But its meaning to me is not clear

Why am I left here all alone?

Without the one I hold the most dear

 

It’s been many years since she passed

Sometimes it seems like yesterday

We were married and had our children

It’s hard to believe it has all gone away

 

Why do you hold onto this loss?

It’s not something she would want you to do

I know it’s a process of love

Something you have to go through

 

But time is here to mend your heart

To carry you away from goodbye

Loving you she would want you to be happy

Somehow you must learn now to try

 

I said, I don’t understand why you’re helping?

I’m hurting because of this loss that I bare

But I’m afraid if I let go of the hurt

Does it mean I will no longer care?

 

If you love her you will always miss her

She missed you when she was alone

There may have been times she felt lonely

Just waiting for you to come home

She understood the reason you were away

So quietly she complied without word

She wanted to show love and support

This she did without her voice being heard

 

How do you know what she went through?

She said, every wife knows of this loss

A woman’s world is full of emotion

In our life as a blessing and cross

 

Do you wonder how I got through it?

How I learned to make it each day

By understanding they live in your heart

It is there they always will stay

 

I could look within and see loss

Or without to see life born anew

I have chosen the latter to follow

That is why I am here now with you

 

If you follow the advice I have given

Someday for someone else you may care

Then when their heart is hurting

For them you will also be there

 

If you love her now as you did

Follow the advice that I give

This is what she would want you to do

She would want you to be happy and live

 

I thanked her for her kind words spoken

I said, I’m sorry I don’t know your name

She said, look at the stone there before you

Both of our names are the same

 

Not noticing where I was seated

Taking to heart her advice for my life

Looking at the stone there before me

Engraved was the name of my wife

Raising my eyes in this moment

Just a dream, I said, I suppose

So I placed my hand on the bench to stand

There beside me lay a beautiful rose