A Gathering of Christians

A satirical piece I wrote back in 1999. Hope you enjoy.

 

A

Brothers, sisters. May the Lord bless you and keep you in his fold. It is such a blessing to see so many God fearing people in one room.

   Let us turn our Bible’s to Matthew 24, verses 36 and 42. Jesus said "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the son, but only the Father. Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come." These words were spoken over 2,000 years ago by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Many signs have been given by our Lord as to when the end of the age will be. "The sun will be darkened, he spoke, and the moon will not give its light. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines." If you did not know that these words were spoken over 2,000 years ago, you would think that they were spoken by a newscaster on the evening news.But, alas, we know differently. These words were uttered by Jesus about the times we live in. And as a whole, my fellow Christians, I don’t believe that we are fully prepared to receive our treasure from the Lord.That is why, as Christian men and women, we must unite. We must unite as a force that the evil one will not be able to reckon with. We must unite as a force to show the world the folly of its ways.

   The society we live in is one of Satan’s greatest creations. It is also a tool of Beelzebub’s to suck in unwitting men and women into his evil grips. We must rally together to change society so everyone can realize the true love of the Lord.The Apostle Paul stated in 1 Timothy 2:12-15-"I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety."

   The first big deception of Lucifer’s this century was the so called liberation of women. The emancipation he gave them to break away from home life where the Lord said their duty was to be. Their deliverance from a so called life of servitude to an existence of promised freedom and growth. Where did that leave women and society?With a disastrous divorce rate, a shocking number of single mothers, young girls having sex at younger and younger ages, women toiling for years at low paying jobs with no hope of advancement. Is this the promised land foretold by the women’s lib groups since the 1920’s?

   That is why we as Christians must support the abolishment of the woman’s right to vote. That was Satan’s first step in his master plan for the immoral, sinful, and wicked degradation of the human race. Now is our chance, as God’s chosen people, to right the wrongs of the eternal deceiver.

   The second big deception of the fallen angel in our society is artistic creativity. In Ephesians 5:15-17 and 19-21 it says-"Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Yet the King of Hell, sowing his seeds throughout the centuries, chose our century to blossom his evil scheme. Through the deception of artistic creativity, he has produced such morbid and disgusting acts as multiple acts of murder, horrendous sexual content, language not spoken by normal, God fearing people, and worst of all, the presentation of ideas that directly go against God's word. This filth spews out every day from the main entertainment centers of the world, soiling the minds of the unsaved multitude among us. What are we, the chosen people, to do?

   We must demand Quality Control Boards for every aspect of entertainment in the world today. These Quality Control Boards will review the materials brought to them for inspection for its use of harmful material that should not be viewed by any God fearing person. The members of these Boards will also advise the heads of all forms of entertainment on positive ways to improve what they do to praise Christ to the fullest. If our suggestions are not implemented, by the studios then our Quality Control Boards will assume full ownership of them and replace their blasphemous material with works approved to be in compliance with God's will.

   The final deception of the Devil is his most devious act. The actual perversion of human behavior that God only intended for a bride and groom. As it reads in Leviticus 18:22-"Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." It also says in 1 Corinthians 6:9,10,18-20-"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral nor the homosexual offenders will inherit the kingdom of God. Flee from sexual immorality. He who sins sexually sins against his own body. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

   The Prince of Darkness has used the sexually immoral, the homosexuals if you will, to tarnish the beauty of sexual relations as God planned it. They have not only presented homosexuality as a reasonable and healthy lifestyle to choose, they have also helped warp the true idea of sex into an animalistic urge that must be taken care of at the slightest itch. It is this attitude that has proliferated the births of a multitude of, excuse my language if you will but it fits in this case, b*****d children and multiplied and created new sexual diseases so even the most innocent of people are at risk for serious health problems.Something must be done.

   Because we are meant to be witnesses for the Lord, our first step will be to assemble all known homosexuals and sexually immoral people and counsel them on their sinful behavior. If they persist in their activities, then we shall do what the Lord says in Leviticus 18:29-"Everyone who does any of these detestable things-such persons must be cut off from their people."

   What we will do is clear out the state of New Mexico, relocate the current residents, and place the sexually immoral and homosexual offenders in that state. A thirty foot high wall will be built surrounding the state preventing them from coming into contact with society. Armed believers will be the police force both inside and outside the compound. Besides the basic policing functions, our believers will present the love of the Lord as Paul directed in 1 Corinthians 5:5-"Hand this man over to Satan, so that his sinful nature may be destroyed."

   These simple changes should present the love and mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

 

 

Author's Note

This may go a little dark but I feel that by going dark with the satire, I can point out my true point of actually writing this.