The Monster Hunting Agency

My oldest son was having nightmares about monsters that lived in drains so I thought a story would help him face some of his fears.

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. They range from short little furry creatures with razor sharp teeth to huge monsters dozens of feet tall with roars that could make a grown man cry like a little girl. That’s where I come in. My name is Izaak and I hunt monsters.

   I was working the day shift at the Monster Hunting Agency when the phone on my desk rang. It was my secretary.

   “Izaak, I have a Miss Allie Pettigrew in the office wishing to speak with you about a monster in her house.”

   “Thank you. Send her in.”

   After a moment, the door to my office opened and a girl who looked to be eight years old stepped in. She had blond, curly hair, a pink shirt covered in hearts, and blue jeans with frilly bell bottoms. I rose to shake her hand, offering her a seat.

   “Thanks for coming in,” I said. “Tell me what brings you here today.”

   “I’ve been scared to take a bath. Every time I get close to the tub I hear a noise coming from the drain. I don’t want to go in there if something wants to pull me down the drain and hurt me.” Allie started to sob.

   I rose from my desk and walked over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.

   “It’s ok,” I said. “I’ve been in your shoes before. But one day I decided I wouldn’t let the monsters scare me anymore so I decided to fight. Can you tell me a little about this monster?”

   “Well, it sounds like a big cat. He just roars every time I get close to the tub. Then I see these arms come out of the drain that look like an octopus arms. I think they’re trying to reach for me.”

   “Alright, leave your address with my secretary and I’ll be by your home tonight to check things out.”

   “Thank you so much.”

   Allie rose and left. I headed over to my bookshelf, pushing a button located secretly behind my display of Lego’s. The bookshelf slid open, revealing a fireman’s pole. I hopped on the pole and slid down. At the bottom, I walked out into the labs of the Monster Hunting Agency. There to meet me was my partner Clyde Roman.

   “Clyde, let’s head over to the utility room. We’ve got a monster sighting and I need to get the right tools for the job.”

   “Nice.”

   We headed to the utility room. Clyde opened the door and turned the light on. The room was cavernous, filled with shelf after shelf of tools that could be gathered together when on a job.

   “So what kind of monster are we looking at?” Clyde asked.

   “From the vague description I got from the girl it appears to be a class M creature, a bathtub monster. I need to get some tools together that’ll help me confront this thing and determine what its purpose is.”

   “I see.” Clyde led me to a particular shelf and pulled down two spray canisters.

   “We just got this shipped in from Finland. Premium monster spray, guaranteed to drive away even the scariest monster ever.”

   He pulled another item off the shelf. “This is a high tech, multi-colored flashlight fresh in from our friends at the CIA. Basically it’s an expensive kaleidoscope. But as we both know, monsters react to light differently. The bad ones run away as fast they can while the good ones are attracted by the light and show their true colors so to speak. And you mentioned this was a bathroom monster?”

   “Yeah.”

   “Then follow me.”

   He led me down a long row of shelves that had various monster fighting items my team had used through the years. We arrived at a shelf that was bare apart from two gumdrops, one colored red and the other colored blue. He picked them up with the delicacy of someone picking up an antique.

   “These are very special gumdrops my friend. The blue gumdrop will shrink you down allowing you to get into the drain and into the monster’s lair. The red gumdrop will be used when you’re out of the drain so you can go back to normal size. Whatever you do, do not lose these.”

   Clyde took a special case sitting next to the gumdrops, placed them inside, and handed them to me. I slipped them into my pocket.

   “Well let’s get my gear together and head over to Miss Pettigrew’s house. We got a monster to stop.”

   “You’re going to need one more thing,” Clyde said.

   Clyde led me to the final shelf. I knew what was waiting there. Clyde grabbed the item and handed it to me. They were the coolest pair of sunglasses a guy could have. And they had the added benefit of being able to spot monsters with a built in infrared sensor. I put them on.

   “Do I look cool?”

   Clyde smiled. “Yeah.”

   “Then let’s collect our gear and go.”

**********

   We arrived at Allie’s house around seven o’clock, around the time she said her parents made her take a bath. I knocked on her door. Within a few moments, her Mother answered.

   “Hello. May I help you boys?”

   “Good evening ma’am. My name is Izaak and this is my partner Clyde. We’re here from the Monster Hunting Agency.” We showed her our badges.

   “My goodness. Allie told me you would be stopping over tonight but I never realized you’d be so young.”

   “Ma’am, monsters only affects children so children can be the only ones to beat them. Can you take us to your bathroom please?”

   Mrs. Pettigrew led us to the bathroom. “Now ma’am, we need this area clear to do our work,” I said.

   Mrs. Pettigrew left Clyde and me to do our job. Clyde set his bag down and took out the equipment. I put on the infrared sunglasses, strapped on the kaleidoscope flashlight onto my belt, and put two monster spray canisters into their holsters. I pulled the case with the gumdrops out of my pocket. Before I stepped into the bathroom, Clyde put his hand on my shoulder.

   “There’s one more thing you’ll need that I forgot to mention.” He handed me an earpiece. “I’ll not only be able to communicate with you, you’ll be able to use this as a universal communicator. You’ll be able to understand everything the monsters are saying.”

   “Thanks,” I said, putting the earpiece in my ear. I entered the bathroom.

   The bathroom smelled of pine cleaner. To my right was the sink and bathroom mirror. The toilet was to the left of the sink. The tub was straight ahead.

   I stepped into the tub and took the box of candies out of my pocket. I opened it, taking the blue candy out. After putting the box back into my pocket, I popped the blue candy into my mouth and swallowed it. It took a moment for the candy to take effect. The shrinking was quite a shock to get used to but I finally got my bearings. I headed for the drain and jumped in.

   The drain was like a slide, a water slide that was drenching wet no matter where I touched. Just as I thought it wouldn’t end, I landed on a slimy metal floor. I rose, adjusting my glasses to see in the dark.

   “Are you in yet boss?” Clyde asked.

   “Copy that. I’m just waiting for my eyesight to adjust then I’ll start my search.”

   I took out my flashlight and turned it on. I appeared to be in a building the size of a warehouse. At the other end of the room was a door. I headed there, being as that was the only exit.

   Once I walked through the door, I heard a roar. But thanks to the universal communicator I understood what was said. And it scared me a little. The voice said “I hear a noise.”

   Someone knew I was here. I pulled out one of my squirt canisters and headed toward the voice.

   “To whoever just spoke, my name is Izaak. I’m an agent for the Monster Hunting Agency. Please show yourself.”

   Silence. Suddenly something from behind me shoved me to the ground. I quickly rose and faced the creature that shoved me. It stood about as tall as me, maybe a couple inches taller. Its teeth resembled fangs. The fur that covered its body was dark gray.

   “What are you doing here?” The creature asked me.

   “I’m an agent with the Monster Hunting Agency. I’ve been sent down here to investigate a monster that’s been scarring a little girl.”

   The monster laughed. “The Monster Hunting Agency? They’re going to send children to stop us monsters?” It started to laugh.

   I smiled. “You wanna come over here and see this child kick your butt?”

   The monster charged me. I kicked him in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground. I pinned his shoulders to the ground with my knees and punched him in the face.

   “Ok, enough,” the monster yelled.

   I rose, pulling out one of my squirt bottles, aiming it at his chest. “This squirt bottle is filled with premium monster spray. I’m sure you know what that is right?”

   The monster nodded. “Yeah, it dissolves all the badness from a monster and makes us permanently nice.”

   “That’s right. Now I got a little girl up there who’s scared of a monster that has octopus tentacles. Have you seen anyone like that down here?”

   The monster snorted. “Why should I tell you?”

   I smiled. “I can see this ain’t going anywhere.”

   I pulled the trigger on the spray bottle. Before the spray hit the monster he ran out of the way of the stream. I ran after it.

   “What’s going on down there?” Clyde asked from my earpiece.

   “I’m chasing a monster that attacked me. I think he may have some knowledge of the creature we’re looking for.”

   “You be careful down there boss.”

   My infrared sunglasses gave me the ability to follow the monster’s footsteps. I took each step slowly, not wanting to get ambushed. A squeaking noise from up ahead caught my attention. I followed the noise to its source.

   It appeared to be a toy. I picked it up, inspecting it. Without warning, something from above hit me on the head knocking me out.

**********

   I awoke in a small room. Clyde was bellowing in my ear.

   “Boss. Are you there Izaak?”

   “Yeah I’m here. I just got ambushed, that’s all.”

   “What do you still have left with you in terms of supplies?”

   Apart from my sunglasses and earpiece, I was left with nothing. “They pretty much stripped me bare. I’m trapped in a little room now.”

   “Well you need to find an escape route fast. And you also need to find that red candy again.”

   I hadn’t even thought about that. The red candy would be my only way out of here. The problem was the only red candy I could take would be the one that was down in the drain here somewhere since it was an appropriate size for me to take, now that I was tiny. If I had any chance of escaping I needed to find that red candy.

   A door opened. A monster stepped in, resembling the monster I encountered earlier but clearly a woman.

   “Please sit down,” she said.

   I took a seat on the floor. With no obvious options of escape I had no other choice but to listen.

   “My name is Glingee. I have to apologize for the actions of my son Sklar. He tells me you’re a part of the Monster Hunting Agency. What is your name?”

   “Izaak.”

   “Why did you come down here?”

   “There was a little girl that came to my agency because she was hearing roars from the drain of her bath tub and she saw octopus arms coming out of the drain.

   Glingee laughed. “This girl must be referring to my daughter Flar. She’s an infant and doesn’t realize humans can perceive us as scary. I assure you that the human will not hear from my daughter again. And please give the girl my apologies.”

   “I will.”

   “Now we must get you back where you came from. Sklar!”

   After a moment her son came into the room carrying my stuff. He had an angry look on his face.

   “Why are we letting him go back? He hit me.”

   Glingee took one of my squirt bottles and sprayed him in the chest. Sklar shook a moment and then smiled.

   “I’m sorry Mother.” He handed me my gear.

   “Now,” Glingee said, “let’s get you home.”

**********

   Glingee pushed me out of the drain. After thanking her I took the red candy. Within moments I was back to my regular size. I walked out of the bathroom and joined Clyde in the hallway.

   “Looks like the Pettigrew’s won’t be having any more problems with monsters,” I said.

   We walked into the living room where the Pettigrew family was waiting for us.

   “Well?” Allie asked expectantly.

   “I took care of your problem. I talked with the mother of the monster who was making the noise and she promised that you’ll never hear from any monster again.”

   “Oh thank you,” Allie said, giving me a hug.

   “No problem. Remember, if you have any more troubles, call the Monster Hunting Agency. In the meantime, keep this monster spray with you. It’ll keep you safe.”

   I handed her one of my spray bottles. The family thanked us and we left.

   “Well Clyde, looks like we found some more monsters that’ll know not to mess with little kids.”

   “You think we’ll ever stop all the monsters from scarring kids?”

   I paused. “Maybe not. But I’m sure going to try.

Author's Note

I like this story a lot but feel it's flat in some places. What am I not seeing here? Any advice offered would be appreciated.