Warning

one of my earlier writings. don't need to tell you who its about as it can be about anyone. a lover, a friend, an enemy. never quite sure in this world about those things though are we?

I'm tired of feeling like this, I will be straight with you. Tattoo my feelings into your brain so your memory is scarred by my torment. I really don’t mind the sound of your voice BUT I HATE THE WORDS THAT YOU SAY. So stop the persecution of my patience before I’m blamed for an execution. Bear this in mind, even though you mean no harm it’s hard to remain calm under the immense pressure of your flirtation with death.  That being said heed the f*****g warning. Before it’s your family instead of me…that will be in uncontrollable mourning.

Author's Note

don't worry about the grammar i just need pointers about the overall flow of the writing.

Reviews

[Wild Willow Blue]

I really like this. "I really don’t mind the sound of your voice BUT I HATE THE WORDS THAT YOU SAY," great line. I think the flow is perfect. It really helps to describe the emotions and the state of mind that the narrator is going through and expressing. You are great with words, and I love reading your works.

[MoriartyMesa]

Not sure if your familiar with a band by the name of 'Arrested Development' (not the tv show, but the band) well, your work spun this in my mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VCdJyOAQYM



Nice job, anything that spins music in the brain is always worth a Pepper Jack
Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper.

Cheers