thoughts of a shogun

inspired by the trivium album shogun. kirisute gomen is basically "authorisation to cut and leave" in other words chop the poor guys head off and bounce. didn't take this seriously, was purely for fun

My sword in my sweaty hand,

The ground soaked in the stench of death.

My comrades urging me to fight on

For their demise should be my motivation.

This is war. The life of a shogun.

The commander of boys

Turning into men

Turning into legend.

Immortal deities with a forgotten past.

 

Why have I been placed with such a burden?

Such a title to uphold?

Expected to condense evaporating reality

With the cold steel of my blade.

Bloodshed was not on my things to do in life

Yet here I am, about to make a wife a widow.

About to make my own wife one if I’m careless.

But these men are honourless and hell bound.

No class nor valour.

So. Kirisute gomen….brother.

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

I liked it. It gives me an Idea on doing a poem about combat.

[nigrum homonculus]

you should. you'd probably pull it off extremely well. glad you liked it.

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

Hmmmm... I really love the first stanza. It gives a a kind of bloody, dirt-covered war image lol. But, to me, the stanzas don't really fit together... Good poem, other than that heheh. C:

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks. you think? how so?

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

I can't really explain it... In the second stanza, the first few lines make me think that you're almost complaining, if I may say. And, "Yet here I am, about to make a wife a widow. About to make my own wife one if I’m careless," doesn't really sound like it should be there...

[nigrum homonculus]

i kinda get you there. it was meant to be a man who was in two minds about going into war. maybe i should of just continued the first stanza?

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

Mehh... I dunno. I think that you shouldn't do anything differently unless you're displeased.