My first love.

more of thoughts on paper than a poem. wasn't meant to rhyme because it was a rant. the ending however is my attempt to rectify this...horribly.

You know what’s really funny?

When a promise is made

BUT

The person who made it fully knows they can’t fulfil it.

 

You know what else is funny?

When innocence is a victim to deception.

Turns it into a b***h, a b*****d

whatever you may call it.

Simply unpleasant.

 

What I can’t get my head around is….

Why was I the victim?

I have never done love wrong

or Slapped it senseless like a wife beater.

So why am I on the receiving end of the kick in the teeth?

 

To worry for something with a mind of its own,

Is like injecting octopus blood in your eye.

Painful and pointless.

A level passed without its tutorial.

 

Reviews

[Baby Ricochet]

My first love was Christina Aguilara

[xxxrawr_friendxxx]

Sorry about your first love. Maybe it was for the best, who knows. c: I thought this was nice, especially the octopus blood line. I thought they only had ink... X3

[Ashwini S.]

Harsh reality...well expressed.

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks ashwini.

[D. Pesek]

"When innocence is a victim to deception."

I particularly liked that line. It was quite a coincidence that I happened to come across this poem just moments after I posted one about deception. It was nice to get another point of view on the subject.

Even though it was just a rant, it did have an interesting sense of flow to it, with the questions being both asked and answered by yourself.

[nigrum homonculus]

haha i'll deffo look that up. thanks, never looked at it like that. good observation there.

[Brown Bull]

So, it looks like your first love experience didn't go as well as you expected. I like this writing and wish you all the best as you try again. We bulls envy you humans with your emotions and all, but many humans wish they could be like us!

[nigrum homonculus]

thank you BB but i doubt i'll be attempting anytime soon lol. haha! i see. must be tough living as a bull

[Brown Bull]

Ah, I'm living the life down here on the farm in Mississippi where the human I was reincarnated from had been born back in 1944. Aparently he had never been back. Nice meeting you.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

Both powerful and potent! I love this write of passion and distaste in fates wayward game in the search for love, so many amiss till that final bliss.

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks! glad you enjoyed my honesty in the piece.

[Wild Willow Blue]

First of all, this is a prose (still poetry) and a wonderful one. Second, take out the last stanza, there's no need for it. Just end it with "A level passed without its tutorial." I, only occasionally, write poems. I like to write in prose simply because it doesn't rhyme, and it is my favorite style of writing. This is beautiful, and you should be proud of it.

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks. thats actually a good idea. thank you. i don't normally rant in my poetry like this and like you it was my first style aswell. idk why i have gone off it though. again thanks :)

[Wild Willow Blue]

You are welcome. I'm always pleased to help.

[The Watcher]

I know exactly how this feels like, and sometime you just gotta vent it all out. S**t happens, but I guess that's what makes people tough. Kudos to you

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks bro that actually means a lot. very true words there.

[afra]

awwwwwww i can relate a lott with this poem ...good work

[nigrum homonculus]

thanks! glad you could. kinda sucks though don't it

[afra]

yesh! absolutely ...its hard to move on

[♥ Lexii Boo &hea..]

This way great i liked this a lot! :D

[nigrum homonculus]

glad you did! thanks!

[♥ Lexii Boo ♥]

anytime buddie :p