My true self

You cannot run from the monster within

Life.... What is life? The joy of being alive or the feeling being dead inside. I don't know anymore. Life has passed me by when other people it's gone slow. I've gone through the good times and in a flash I suddenly find myself living within the bad times, the hell of the feeling of being real, trapped in a dark void unable to see the light that disappeared from my life...what life? It's gone and deserted me in a place where time and living are frozen and I'm left to wonder where it all went wrong. I see all the people, the kind souls that came into my life to save me from the nothing I've become but no longer are they the kind souls but instead now are vengeful, hell bound and evil souls. They want me to feel the hatred, the heartache and sadness they went through, from what I put them through. I regret it but what's done is done and I realize I can't take it back anymore. It's something that once out flew away. They are all around me, whispering the words, the way out but I don't want to accept it. All I wanna do is pack my bags and leave this s**t behind but I'm haunted from every alley, room, street, state and country and continent. They never seem to leave me alone and all I can do is drag the remorse and lies and regret from my back as I die over again each day only to experience the evil and regret all over again.
I feel the sensation of something crawling all over but not on my skin but more....within. They're eating at my organs, eating me from the inside. It's insects but insects of hate, evil, sadness, remorse, revenge, heartache and the most painful memories I cannot let go of and they won't stop till I'm gone and laying in the ground.
I scream for help and saving but how can it be that the Angels that deserted me. I scream and stare up to the darkened sky and ask a higher power to help me and show me the way but it's silence as I realize I'm all alone. Blood pours from above and I'm drenched in the blood of those I've hurt and driven to death. I reach my breaking point and yell out and plead to be killed to have a end to this nightmare.
Suddenly arms sprout and burst from the sand below me and grip at me, clawing at my flash and remove my disguise as they reveal the evil, the monster, under it. Hahahaha I laugh as come to accept what they want me to embrace. My eyes go red as I give in and turn into the monster I am. My true self and now I'm a danger to the church, to the crowd and society. I am a individual. A monstrous individual that has come to extract evil and hate on the world but they keep clawing at me and I laugh as I'm pulled down to hell and into the evil I've become.....