Poetic lines; pathetic lies and violent truths

journal 07232015 title: subtle stings

I need someone to wake me up 

From this sick dream,

These days are exactly what they seem, 

Masked with prejudice and low self esteem.

And it's not like these days are bad,

When you rely soullessly on faith, 

Watching; helplessly, hungrily, vigorously

As your sick dad drinks his life away.

 

Don't smile at fate, let it come and 

Consume until it entirely through,

Then, and only then, can you watch

Your own faith slip away too. 

Reviews

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

I diasagree with the comments below only in that we must seek out those poetic moments and truthfully describe them. Truth is always so much more impacting than flowery words and half measured phrases. Someimes people drive the poem off point trying to fit it into what it was never meant to be. The rhythm is clean and the prose it true. as a would be writer this is all I strive for in my work. kudos to you

[Green]

Real life is never quite as poetic as we can make it, and sometimes it''s harshness needs to leak into other things or we'd drive ourselves insane. There's a lot of emotion in your write, it's powerful and lends strength to the words. Just don't let a situation that seems hopeless or impossible destroy your ability to hope. Things will improve, just not always as quickly as we might want them to.

[Crispy]

Psst... wake up! (You already are:)

Don't lose your faith because of someone else's dream... they're just trying to wake up too.
Love him supremely, help when you can, and be patient.

It's a beautiful poem~ with a most excellent title. Thank you for sharing your heart