THE WORD

Boys will have some of the weirdest debtes. I remember from all those years ago

In the beginning there was the word, and it must have been one hell of a long word because somehow it went against all the laws of reality and managed to do everything in an impossibly short while, and words aren’t meant to do that. They rarely do anything, though they have been known to infuriate men and women if they’re said in the wrong way.

Spencer decided it was time to research exactly what that word was and who, if anyone, said it. He was into science and the universe in a big way even though he was only ten years old. While his older brother Arnold (twelve) was getting ridiculously interested in girls and their shapes, what they looked like, what they wore on this or that occasion or preferably what they took off on any occasion, and even what opinions they had when it came to cakes and fizzy drinks, all he really wanted was a telescope so that he could find that word that someone had told him was said in the beginning.

But where to look?

On a clear night when there wasn’t too much smoke and fog in the air he thought there might be a clue if he looked skywards, and he did that until his eyes hurt.

But nowhere, not even on the moon’s dark half, could he so much as make out a single letter let alone a whole word and certainly not a powerful word capable of doing everything.

“What I’d like to know,” he discussed with Ricky, his best ever friend and the keeper of a good half dozen secrets, what keeps coming into my mind is what the word might have sounded like when it was spoken.”

“It’s probably God,” nodded Ricky, “my dad says God did everything in the beginning, so the chances are he said the word. And I tell you mate, Spencer, I’m betting it started with the letter A. All words that are important seem to begin with the letter A, like amnesty and aeroplane and stuff like that.”

“My dad says there’s no such thing as God,” put in Spencer, “and if there was and it was him that spoke the word he’d still be saying it because it’s so long and complicated and such a tongue twister it would take for ever to even say the first syllable.”

“My dad’s a vicar, so he knows about stuff like that,” reminded Ricky, “whilst your dad is a bus driver, and bus drivers only really know about traffic lights and roundabouts.”

“Maybe,” replied Spencer thoughtfully, not wanting to argue from the weakened position of having a bus driving dad, “but your dad doesn’t seem to know what the word was. So what use is being a vicar if all you know about is bible stuff, because that doesn’t say what the word is, and if we knew that we’d know quite a lot of related stuff, like the square root of hundreds and how to beat the girls in spelling tests!”

“Nobody will ever beat Angela Burnside,” sighed Ricky, and for the moment the debate about important things like the mighty word that was said so long ago that nobody knows what it was and who spoke it fizzled out.

Spencer’s brother Arnold was having a more successful time.

While Ricky and Spencer were worrying about the word, he was getting down to more important things.

He was possibly making Angela Burnside pregnant by doing all the wrong things, and she was only eleven. So maybe he ignored the word when she said it. If that word was no that is.

But if it was yes he should have known not to take any notice of such a silly immature girl.

“I’ll have to do the right thing and propose to her,” sighed Arnold to his brother, “if it worked, that is, and she’s in the club.”

Spencer, unsure of what club he might be talking about merely nodded and murmured that in the beginning there was a particularly powerful word, and asked Arnold if he knew what it was.

“You’re plain daft, little brother,” mumbled Arnold, “worried about words when there’s life going on all around you.”

“But it might be important,” Spencer replied firmly, “I know in my bones that it is. So does Ricky, and he’s really quite clever.”

“Then look in a dictionary,” advised Arnold, “there are all sorts of words in dictionaries. And I hope my girlfriend isn’t pregnant.”

“I’ll tell Ricky,” agreed Spencer, “dictionaries are so thick it’ll take the two of us until the end of term to check.”

By the time the two boys got fed up with consulting the rather thick dictionary they used at school they both lost interest in the word, whatever it was, and went on to worry about serpents. And Angela, thank heavens, had her first period and decided that Barney was a rubbishy and possibly dangerous boyfriend and set her eyes on his brother even though she knew very little about serpents of any sort.

© Peter Rogerson 13.09.24

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