CHAPTER FIFTEEN - THE LOVE BITE

An accident with an elderly electric shaver can be quite deceptive...

“You know what I've forgot to bring with me, don't you?” almost wailed David, searching inside his suitcase and failing to find whatever it was he had forgotten to pack before they left home.

“Give us a clue,” suggested Mr Potts.

“I was sure I'd put it in … I remember picking it up … something must have distracted me...” There was despair in the teenager's voice as his fumbling in his suitcase became ever more frenetic.

“But what is it?” asked Paula, looking up from her own suitcase, a handful of scraps of frilly cloth she fondly looked on as knickers in her hands.

“My shaving stuff!” he mumbled. “I need my shaving stuff!”

“If you left it at home it's above a hundred miles away, and I'm not driving all that way to fetch it” admonished Paula's father.

“I'll start looking scruffy, and by the end of the week I'll be like one of those fakirs or whatever they are who never shave,” he moaned. “I'll have the sort of beard that needs plaiting!”

“I've got a spare battery shaver you can borrow,” said Mr Potts. “It's my spare. I put fresh batteries in before we left home just in case...”

“Are you sure?” queried David.

“I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't sure,” the older man assured him. “Here you are �" see how you get on with it.”

“I've never electric-shaved before,” said David, taking the instrument and peering at it.

“It's child's play,” nodded Mr Potts, “just switch it on and away you go! I never shave any other way.”

“I'll just have a try,” said David, going into the small enclosed bathroom of the caravan for privacy �" and a mirror.

“I'm sorry he forgot his stuff, dad,” muttered Paula. “It's not been a very good start, has it?”

“Don't be daft, lass, we all forget things sometimes,” her father told her. “I remember, years ago, when I was at college, away from home...”

“I never knew you went to college, dad! This isn't going to be one of your tall stories, by any chance, is it?”

“Well I did, and it's perfectly true so it's by no means tall! Anyway, I arrived there full of enthusiasm and the joys of spring only to discover, that night, that I seemed to have forgotten my toothbrush. And you know me, Paula: I can't even get to sleep if I haven't cleaned my teeth properly. It's not something I've ever been able to do. I was probably brainwashed as a child into believing all my teeth would fall out if I neglected them, or something like that.

“So there I was, in my lonely little room for one, and no toothbrush �" and a whole night in front of me to fret about it. And I would have, you know. I would have fretted about it.

“And then a miracle happened. There was a knock on my door �" and remember, I didn't know anyone there, it was my first day and I hadn't yet had a chance to meet anyone more than just to say a nervous hello to strangers.

“So I opened the door, and there was a girl of about my own age �" I was in my very late teens back then, remember, probably no more than a year older than you are now, Paula, and she was, at the time, the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. She had the sort of hair that seemed to cascade off her head, fragrant and impossibly clean, beautiful blue eyes and a complexion most women would die for. And, more than that, she was wearing one of those baby-doll nighties that were popular back then, little more than a scrap of diaphanous cloth and tiny panties that left very little to the imagination...”

“Dad!”

“Just a minute Paula, I was human and a teenager, remember, so don't interrupt me! Anyway, I must have gawped at her like a simpleton because she was so ravishingly beautiful … and so nearly naked!”

“Dad!”

“Anyway, she looked at me and smiled and said excuse me for interrupting, but I was about to go to bed and I realise I've forgotten my toothbrush … I hate to ask, but you wouldn't have a spare, would you?

“And you know, Paula, I was so shaken by her her appearance and everything that I automatically reached into my bag and brought out a package containing two toothbrushes! I hadn't forgotten to take them at all, just forgotten where I'd packed them! And what with the jingle of nerves woken up by an angel in a baby-doll nightie I went into automatic mode and found them exactly where I'd put them! I gave her one, said she could keep it, and she smiled so sweetly in thanks … and went back to her room. And I cleaned my own teeth and went to my own bed and had all sorts of dreams involving cascades of beautiful hair, lovely white teeth �" and a nightie I'll never forget!”

“And the moral, dad?”

“There isn't one,” smirked her father, “and I did enjoy remembering the episode. But it goes to show that even someone as well-nigh perfect as myself is capable of forgetting things on the odd occasion...”

“I've lived with you all my life and I know that it's not...” began Paula, and her sentence was cut short by a sharp exclamation of pain from the bathroom as the buzzing of the electric shaver suddenly stopped.

“Are you all right, lad?” called Mr Potts.

“Er yes...” came the strangled reply, and the bathroom door slowly opened.

David stood there, battery razor in one hand, his other hand grasping his own neck, and Paula noticed that there were tears welling up in his eyes.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It bit me!” almost wept David, “the razor bit me...”

He slowly removed his hand from his neck to reveal an inflamed patch of skin, in appearance very much like the marks left on their partner's necks by over-amorous lovers.

“Oh dear �" I should have warned you,” apologised Paula's dad.

“What...?” asked Paula.

“He hasn't used electric before … he's pressed it very hard against some soft skin and it's kind of ripped a bit of the surface skin off...” explained the older man. “It'll be all right soon enough, but for a little while you're going to look as if someone has given you a very juicy love-bite!”