THE KING OF HARMONY

I sometimes just want to write an old-fashioned little story with a moral and a reasonably happy ending...

It was a wild and windy day in Harmony way back when the people lived in huddled huts and King Wolfsbane had his castles.

On this particular day that King was out on his own, clad in the finest raiment that a King of Harmony might wear when he was out in the wilds of what in many places was an inhospitable land. He was usually accompanied by a retinue of devoted servants (devoted because it paid them do be that rather than because their instincts told them to be devoted)

You see, his was a harsh almost tyrannical rule, which was exactly what he wanted it to be. Joy to him lay in the lopping off of limbs when his subjects transgressed the petty rules that he lay down, and if they did something really serious like stealing apples, then lopping off their heads was the order of the day.

So he was out in the wilds, fearless because there was not a man or woman or child who dared say or do anything to oppose him.

King Wolfsbane's rule was absolute, and it was said that when a new-born infant squawked his first tearful breath it was out of fear of that king.

So he was out there in the wilds, taking the air.

A mountain lion spied him and with feline wisdom he knew this was one foe who was beyond even his mighty limbs, for King Wolfsbane gave off an aura that none dared defy, not even that Velvet-padded Master of the Mountain Reaches.

So the Mountain Lion sneaked away and lay under a rock, a malevolent gaze on its rugged face as it balefully watched the King 's slow progress.

A crusty old man saw the king, and started quivering. His limbs quivered, his heart quivered and most importantly of all his ancient nose quivered, and what with all that quivering all he could see was a blur of movement as King Wolsbane prowled through the skirts of the mountains.

The mountain lion saw the crusty old man and roared softly at him, "come here and shelter with me, old man, for together we may have enough courage to face up the foul King Wolfsbane if he sees us and it comes to that!"

The crusty old man saw the sense of that and went up to the lion and lay down under the rock with him and tried not to make the least of movements, which is difficult if a man is quivering all over the place.

The King went on his way and came upon an eagle perched proudly on a high rock, but the eagle saw him first and started shivering and shaking and setting his wings into such a bother that there was no way he could even think of flying.

"Come here, eagle, and shelter from the King's wrath with us," growled the Mountain Lion, and the eagle, seeing the sense of the wild beast's words, went to the two sheltering under a rock and sheltered with them.

The King, though, sauntered on and started singing a little song the like of which no man had heard before nor has heard since.

"I am a mighty king," he sang, his voice melodic like a rusty saw cutting through equally rusty nails is melodic,

"I am a mighty king
Who wears his diamond ring
And ever as I sing
With such a pretty thing
The world will know in trembling fear
That I am king of the lands round here!"

"That is an evil song," breathed the crusty old man, shaking his head. "No man should have so much confidence."

"We could take him down a notch or two," agreed the Mountain Lion. "I could roar and roar until his Kingly head is more confused than a Kingly head should ever be!"

The Eagle agreed.

"I could soar and soar and soar in huge circles until he is so dizzy he might see the error of his ways and fall down onto the ground and beg our forgiveness," he suggested.

The crusty old man shook his head. "He will not do any such thing," he muttered, "for he is the most powerful king of all times and you, if you roar, Mr Mountain Lion, will have your tongue struck out for daring to invade the King's peace on a fine morning like this, and you, Mr Eagle, if you soar, will have your wings lopped off for daring to fly through his skies without his full permission in triplicate."

"Then what shall we do?" whispered the Mountain Lion.

"We will hide here shivering and shaking until he has gone by and then you two will tear me to pieces and eat me, and the Lion will attack the Eagle and devour him also, for we are in the Mountain Skirts of Harmony and that's what we do!" replied the crusty old man as if all that carnage was already a fait accompli.

The Eagle and the Lion might have gone on to say more but they paused in mid breath, for a woman came along.

This was no woman that they had seen before on Harmony, for she was both young and old, had silver and black hair, a ready willing smile, and she, too was singing, clearly glad to be alive on such a day as this.

"I am a princess bold
Like storybooks have told,
I am both young and old,
Feel warmth when it is cold,
And while I'm walking singing here
I have no need of Earthly fear", she sang.

"What have we here!" roared King Wolfsbane, and he looked around to see where the voice was coming from.

Then he saw the woman, she who was both young and old, had silver and black hair according to the way the sun shone on it, and whose face was like that of an angel.

The king did what many another might have done in that place and at that time.
He fell instantly and irrevocably in love with her, for she carried with her a
strange and unique beauty.

"I must have you for my own!" he shouted. "I must take you with me to my castle, and lock you in a high tower so that only I can see you, and ravish you daily while you yet live! I must kiss your breasts with my kingly lips and touch your fragrant tongue with my own kingly tongue and all in the land of Harmony will know how much I love you!"

She looked at him and giggled.

"You can't do that!" she said, "You can't do any of those things!"

"I can do all of those things," he bellowed.

"Just try it, oh mighty King Wolsfbane," she whispered. "Try taking my freedom and the light of the sun from me!"

The King couldn't believe her cheek. He was so used to getting his own way in all things and having bodily parts lopped off even when he did get his own way, and the very idea of a simple country maiden, especially one who was both young and old, standing up to him was beyond anything he had ever supposed might happen.

"I will have the axe to your lovely neck!" he shouted, and from nowhere two axemen appeared and walked towards the maiden.

Her white neck glowed in the sunlight, and the King bellowed all manner of profanities at her as the axemen approached her, their shining axes ready to lop her head off once and for all.

"We cannot allow this!" said the crusty old man from where he was hiding.

"There is nothing we can do to stop it," shivered the Mountain Lion.

"I am going away from this dreadful, place!" cawed the eagle, and he flapped his gigantic quivering wings and soared into the air before racing away in the direction of the warm sun.

"HALT!" roared King Wolfsbane, and such was his power that the eagle fell like a stone out of the sky and broke itself on the sides of the mountain.

"We are lost!" blabbered the Mountain Lion as the axemen reached the maiden who was both young and old and who had both silver and black hair.

"Bah!” said the crusty old man, "for it is true that the moment I saw the maiden and heard her voice when she sang I loved her! I cannot let a foul king like the repulsive Wolfsbane do one thing without raising a finger to help her!"

"Then you are a fool!" gasped the Mountain Lion.

"You may think that," replied the crusty old man, and he stepped forward from where he had been sheltering and walked boldly up to the scene before him.

"You are evil," he said to the king. "This tasty maiden is not for you, neither the young nor the old of her!"

"I am the King!" bellowed Wolfsbane," and his voice was so loud and powerful that the Mountain Lion's ears fell off and he was never to hear a mortal sound again.

"You may be a king, but as a man you are a tyrant, and I will not allow you to lop the head off this maiden!" said the crusty old man quietly, not quite sure why he was doing this but perfectly sure it was the right thing to do.

He turned to the two axemen. "And you: you should be ashamed of yourselves," he added. "Putting untold fear into a maiden such as this when she has done nothing wrong, but shone her radiance onto the mountain side with her beautiful blue eyes and her endearing song!"

"Sod it," said the first axeman, "the crusty old man is right!"

"Good grief!" said the second, "you are so correct! What are we doing?"

And the two axemen gave the king their axes and told him in no uncertain terms to do his own dirty work, and they went away as suddenly as they had appeared.

"But I don't know how to!" roared the King, "I am a King and give orders, not do the things myself!" And he took one of the axes and tried to lop off the maiden's head, but it is no easy matter wielding a heavy executioner's axe, and it want round and round in a full circle before he lopped his own head off, in one slicing go.

"Nasty," muttered the crusty old man.

"Messy," agreed the maiden, and she took him by one arm and looked at him straight in his crusty old eyes with her bright blue eyes and said, "And yes, before you ask, and because this is a good old fashioned fairy story, I will marry you."