Baby It's True, I Can't Live Without You

Tale of a strong love that couldn't be broken, until...

                Ding Dong 

                The door bell rang just as Ben was working on the meal he had started for their 6 months together.  Ben walked to the door, with the jitters of a small child on Christmas, and opened the door holding a dozen roses. 

                “Jill, baby you don’t know how great it is to see you, what a week.”

                Jill replied “ Oh Ben, You have no idea.”

                “Long week at work?”

                “The Longest.”

                Jill and had Ben had started to date in September, where they started their new semesters and quests for love.  It was shocking that they found each other and this point in their lives at the ages of 20 when they’ve gone to summer camp together since they were 5.  Jill was and had always been the beautiful, blonde, lighthearted girl that everyone chased after on the playground and had worked as an aid in an afterschool program.  Ben, on the other hand, was a clean cut, crew cut, hard working kid who had been working for a construction company recently.  Both went to different community colleges.  Jill went to Cherrygrove Community College and Ben to Camden County Community. Jill was that girl that you couldn’t picture doing anything other than working with kids, she was so good with them, so she was majoring in Elementary Ed. In the meantime, Ben was chasing his childhood dream to be in law enforcement.  They were closer than anyone could imagine.  They had never fought with one another, cherished every moment together, and in this short time started realizing that engagement may not have been too crazy of an idea. 

                “I’ll take your coat” Ben offered.

                “Thank you baby. Smells great!”

                “Ah, I hope you like huney, it’s a surprise so why don’t you take a seat and ill finish up beautiful.”

                He pulled the chair out and she sat.  He set the table, grabbed the sparkling water and set them down on the candlelit table. 

                Jill swished the water around in the martini-like glass and then asked “So, you know what I’ve been thinking about?”

                Ben smiled back at her as he stirred the linguini.  She continued “You.. I really love you and this relationship baby, and I just can’t get over my feelings for you in such a short amount of time. My parents love you, they think you’re amazing.. it just feels so nice to know that I’ve found someone that makes me feel this way.  You make me feel so secure in the sense that I solely believe that we can be engaged and married.  It’s so nice to know that you have that right person in your life and you don’t have to keep looking or worrying.”

                Ben was a guy that didn’t mind talking about these things.  In fact he loved talking about it and had been considering engagement a year from then.  “Ok… here it is!”  He poured the linguini into a large bowl, took the sauté pan of bacon, chicken and peas in the alfredo sauce and poured it over. “This is my Pasta Carbonara huney. Hope you like.”

                They  both took a bite.  “Oh wow Ben.. a man that can cook.” She shot him a wink and he smiled.  The rest of the dinner was filled with small talk about the work week and the class load.  When they finished, they washed the dishes together and continued on to the living room to watch tv.  It was nice having a house to their own for a little while.  Ben’s parents had taken his sister Theresa to her cheerleading competition in New York for the weekend.  Ben was quite pleased with how the evening was going.  When a commercial flashed on the screen, Ben asked,

                “So how was it getting here?”

                Jill replied “It was good, not much traffic, but people are ridiculous on the roads these days.  But you already know that.”

                Ben smiled and said “Well, im glad you could make it and I’m sorry you had to drive here, with my parent car in the shop, and then they take mine, and it’s like what the Hell.”

                Jill giggled, leaned up, then kissed him.  They kissed for a little while before she replied to his apology.  “Baby, you drive me everywhere, it’s the least I can do. Plus if I didn’t, you wouldn’t have been working on that delicious dinner.” They smiled at one another and continued to get wrapped up in an innocent kiss and the warm arms of love that embraced each of their bodies.  These two were certainly crazy for one another.

                Next they had been laying in the sheets of his bed naked, wide eyed, and racing hearts.  The night had just gone from memorable to monumental.  He rolled over and clutched his arms around her body. Despite the fact that it was a cold, March evening, the heat between their bodies and those sheets was filled with intensity, energy and warmth.  They kissed, only a couple more times, passionate, loving kisses that ended in her head landing into his bare chest.  They couldn’t do anything else but lay there in that twin sized bed, without a care in the world, and smile. 

                “I love you baby.” Ben whispered gently into her ear.

                “Baby, never let me go.”  Jill’s whisper was full of passion and desire as her heart raced.

                “Hey” Ben tapped her shoulder and rubbed his fingers up and down her arm, “We got this”.

                She opened her eyes, looked up and smiled as she rejoiced the same words back to him.  Those words of assurance that they had spoke since the third month.  “We Got This”.

 

                As the day entered into the 24^th hour, they had been in the living room, clutching on to each other for dear life.  Her head rose back up from his chest and she looked at him with a puppy dog kind of face.  He knew it was time for her to go, time for her to get back to her home for the night.  He knew he’d see her the next day, well actually a bit later now that the time had marched past 12am, but it was still so hard.  Ben grabbed her jacket, walked her to her car, opened the door and held on tight to her.

                “I’ll see you later,right?”

                “ Yes Ben, you remember we’re going to see my nieces dance recital.”

                “Of course, Jill be safe, God I cant lose something special like you.”

                She smiled, climbed in and started the car. “ I love you Ben, I’ll text you when I get home.”

                “Ok huney, love you too. Have a good night.  See ya tomorrow!”

                She drove off into the cold, March, Saturday night.  With a little fog in the air the taillights became out of sight a little quicker than usual.  He rubbed his neck and started back towards the front door.  He was blown off his feet and taken back by the infinite amount of emotion and passion that had been wrapped up in one night. 

                “I guess things hit you way harder when you don’t expect them”, Ben, with a puzzled mind, thought to himself.  He then dropped the thought and became nothing but a walking, mile-wide smile.  Happy soon became an understatement as he laid in bed with the phone by his hear, waiting for her text.

                After getting wrapped up in a game of online poker, Ben lifted the face of his phone to check the time.  It had been 1 am and nothing yet.  A bit worrisome, he picked up the phone and called her.  He thought about texting her but he figured a phone call would be more of a surprise.  As the dial tone  had repeated more than he was used to he thought to himself, “She probably fell asleep or something, or maybe decided to get a quick shower, or may..”, the phone picked up.  A male voice replied “Hello, hello..”.  Ben sat up and froze in shock and dismay.  “Hello?? Whoever this is, do you know a young Jillian Howard?”.  Ben thought about hanging up and turning his phone off but then he heard.. “If you know this young girl, we’re going to need you to come to Main Street in Cherrygroves mid town sector, I’m afraid there’s been an accident.”  Without a second thought or word, Ben got on his bike and started to peddle like he was in the Tour de France.  Cherrygrove wasn’t too far away, just about 3 miles, across town.  The distance wasn’t what mattered.  He was stunned, like having a paralyzed tongue, he could not speak.  All he could do was kick himself unmercifully about having to have her drive to his house and back so late.   Her parents would have killed her knowing she was alone with me for a night, it became a double edged sword and he was cut deep.  He finally arrived to the scene in about 10 minutes time.  He stopped the bike, put his hands on his mouth as his eyes filled with tears.  The little, silver, convertible, Chrysler Sebring had been flipped.  The top was crushed all the way in.  Running through the crowd of police and firefighters, whom soon tried to retain him, he fell to his knees to look in through the small space that was open between the top and the front door to see if she had still been inside.  With the pieces of window that were left covered in blood, all that he saw hanging was the charm and chain to the necklace that he had given her after they made love. 

Author's Note

My first complete short story. Part two will not be produced.... I've been tossing it around in my mind.. i really think the story's more affective the way it is rather than dragging it out and taking the risk of making the event at th end seem unrealistic from Ben's perspective

Reviews

[nothing]

I loved it. Sadly, though, I kind of wanted it to be continued. Like, what did he do? But this was great!!! Keep it up!!

Sarah.

[Matt Pellegrini]

You do a really good job of making Ben and Jill's relationship seem so happy, and so perfect and lovey, which really strengthens the end as well. I would definitely go into even greater minute detail with their relationship. The more specific and tiny things you highlight, the more sympathy and happiness the reader will feel for them. More stuff like the "We got this," for example. A great thing that really defines and shows them off as a couple.

One really minor, nitpicky suggestion, I would take the "Ding Dong" at the beginning out of quotes and make it italics or something distinguished from dialogue. Not that I thought somebody was saying "Ding Dong," but I think it would just look better.

The only other suggestion I really have is the wording. There's some awkward grammar and phrasing at times, along with some words that could be switched for something better, but that's not anything that can't be easily fixed.

Finally, I like how there isn't that much description of the end. It isn't so dramatic that it makes Ben's actions unbelievable, and I think the less said and done by Ben in the end lets the reader imagine how painful that scene would really be for Ben.

[Brittany Lopez]

This is really good! I hope you post the next part soon, I'm excited!