Chapter 1 - the beginning

what is written, might be fabricated, what is fabricated, always have a reason behind

  A spear pierced into the person’s naked body, causing blood to spill out like a river and a loud scream from the victim. Suddenly, a giant flat floating object made of metal appeared out of nowhere, covering a mountain with three crosses with each of them a person nailed to it on the hands and the feet. The person being poked by the spear let out a sigh, and lowered his head, his head wobbled around his neck for a while as he gave up holding it upright. Then, metallic sounds emitted from the floating object, and pipes extended from the bottom of the object. Then, without warning, the pipes fired rays of light towards the hill; the amount of the rays was so great that it seemed as if raining. The lights were too dazzling. The citizens around the man that died turned their heads away and covered their eyes with their arms. When they turned their heads back towards the cross, the guards were all on the ground.

 The spear that the guard used to poke the man on the cross was glowing bright red, the light it gives out was even greater than that given out by the Sun. A man from the crowd emerged, with a cloth in his hand, he approached the spear while covering his eyes with his arms, and wrapped the cloth around the spearhead.

 That person was John, and the spear was the Holy Lance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  John was seen walking down the hill, with a package which he wrapped his hand around dearly. He pushed opened a wooden door, and went into a hut with hay ceiling.

 Once inside, he unwrapped the cloth, revealing the Holy Lance inside. Instantly it emitted a warm, bright glow that blinded John’s eyes for a brief period. But when he could finally see again, he found himself not in the shabby hay-covered hut, but in a  vast grassland with waterfalls and blue skies and clouds. He looked down, and found himself bare-footed, wearing a clean, white robe. The robe glowed dimly in white light as if the surface of the robe was glossy. Then, as he looked in front of him again, he found a man, too in white robe, with holes in his hands and feet standing in front of him. “Jesus?” John asked in awe. “Yes my friend, I am Jesus.”

“But did you not just got crucified?”

“Ah, yes my friend, but now I am in your head.”

“In my head?”

“Never mind that, let us concentrate on the future.”

“The future?”

Then Jesus waved his hand at the vast grassland, and then all of a sudden, image of a man and a woman was shown in thin air.

“Meet your ancestors John, Adam, and Eve.”

“The ones who committed the original sin.”

“Yes, you’ve read the scroll. They too, had been in this place a long time ago. They were banished by God, and yet, they had completed what God wanted them to. And now John, you shall too.”

“Be banished and accomplish what God will?”

“Yes.”

Jesus flicked his hand again in the empty air and things flew towards them. First trees, dinosaurs, the sea, volcanic eruption, wooden huts, concrete huts, brick houses, tall houses, few-storey-high residential buildings, skyscrapers, glass skyscrapers, and at last, they stopped on the roof of a very tall building which overlooked the entire city it was stationed in. Everywhere there were flying cars with no wheels or horses, people in strange clothing with hovering tablets in front of them.

“This is the future, John, the future of the people of God.” Jesus said while looking towards the city as John was excitedly running around, observing the strange things.

“It is amazing! Less people walking, more people moving around in those flying creatures! What a sight indeed!” John said in awe.

“John it is important that you pay attention. It is with the utmost importance that you keep the spearhead you have just got safe. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“And you shall not tell your brothers any of what you have seen here, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Very well, John, the fate of the children of God and His kingdom rests on you. Do not fail us.”

And then suddenly, Jesus collapsed into a pile of dust on the floor. “Jesus!” John exclaimed as he rushed towards the pile of dust. But then, the building he was on collapsed as it turned into dust. And as John fell, everything around him started to decompose into dust and collapsed. Shortly after, he found himself falling into an abyss as he screamed helplessly.

He opened his eyes, and found himself back in the room he was in minutes ago, still standing in the same position before he had gone to the vast grassland.

Author's Note

please let me know if there are any problems, that'd help a lot, thx

Reviews

[Angelo Kingston]

This was an okay first chapter. I had a few problems, mostly the pacing felt a bit rushed -- I don't know maybe that was intentional. There was only once noticeable grammatical error. I felt as if couldn't picture a few things and I wasn't able to follow along visually. Now, on the bright side the concept is pretty nice, I haven't read anything that would focus on this era and add a more fantasy element the way you did. I feel that this can grow into an interesting series depending on where you go with it. It was also easy to read, not too long not too short. In the end, I do want to keep reading.

[imagwriteine]

Thank you for your detailed review and your compliments. And please do keep reading the book :)