The Sit Up Theory (from Punk Minneapolis)

an excerpt from my published novel

 

(This excerpt from my published novel is censored for the internet)

(The scene takes place at a pizza parlor where Raven and Becky are working)

 

“No way. Everybody thinks yuppies are so smart so they can’t get away with anything. They think punkers are stupid so it’s easy for us to just stand there and void out the register even with the manager right there. In fact, once Big Foot actually did laugh at me like I was stupid.” Becky chortled.

“Anybody can follow the principles of the sit-up theory if they want to.”

“What’s that?” Becky asked.

“Weren’t you ever in gym class?”

“Of course,” Becky lied. “Only the retards and cripples got out of gym class. Do you think I was ever a retard or a cripple? F### you. What’s the sit-up theory?”

“Have you ever done a sit-up?”

“Of course,” she lied some more.

Raven explained, “Well, the sit-up theory is that at the beginning of the year when they count how many sit-ups you can do, you pretend to barely be able to do only one. Then at the end of the year when they retest you and you can do two, they give you a good score because they think you’ve really made progress. It fools them every time. But, you were able to do two from the get-go!”

“Oh yeah, I did that. I’m cool. I bet you looked really stupid in gym shorts.”

“We all did.”

Becky lied, “I wore black fishnets with bits of cool things hanging off here and there.”

“The Uptown Socialist People’s Union will not be crushed!”

“Oh shut the f### up. Punks are for Anarchy anyway, space ships and Atlantis, and safety pins. Not Unions.”

“Our union is about revenge. An organized revenge, and to have a lot of fun at it.”

She smiled. “Oh yeah, party party!”

The blond guy brought back his application. Raven and Becky both ogled it, as she read, “Oh, hi Brett Smith. You’re twenty-three. That’s getting pretty up there. I see you’ve kept your tummy trim for being a guy that’s getting older. How many push-ups can you do? It’s not written down here. How can you not be dead? Middle class culture is so awful I don’t know why everybody in it just doesn’t die on the spot. You just rot away. I barely got out in time, but you don’t look like you’re even trying to free yourself.”

“You’re free until you go to prison.”

“And, indeed, you graduated. Wooh. But we wonder… did you go to school on the long bus or on the short bus?”

“Stop that,” Brett ordered. “Just give it to the manager.” They did. He left.

“What a dweeb,” Becky said. “I know there was an Izod somewhere on him. Maybe it crawled up his nose and ate his brain AAA-AA-AAH and that’s why we just couldn’t see it.”

 

 

 

LOOK at the blurb and reviews at Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1600761682/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=0WTB6ZMTNAX3BGV3FVSH&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

 

 

 

Reviews

[Nimbus Thread]

I enjoyed this. The dialogue clearly expresses a place , time and attitude vividly. Using a theory is a cleaver technique solidifying your writing skill. Well done.

[kyrie]

Okay, you have hit the top of my list. Good authors can pique curiosity with just a small segment, but I think you did it with just a paragraph. Your characters automatically portray fun and realistic people, who would rather live life laughing that be chained to a high paying job. Well done!

[reminder]

I like the "sit-up" theory. I think it is the work ethic of choice in some people:0 Very cool story. I'd like to check out the rest. Well done!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

11 new from $7.95 3 used from $11.63....that can't be right...what? The used ones are more expensive! Which proves conclusively my theory that a book isn't worth anything until its read! lol......anyway, I like this excerpt, good writing!

[Robin]

your a listener , an eavesdropper to life , love reading these chronicles of personality

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

Crowley is spot on~ you had me with the first one and life you breathed into our heroine~

[OT]

I agree with Crowley! great dialogue!! 3D characters - brought to life, perfect word choice which gives subtle hints about age etc. you relay information without having to be overly formulaic and telling us!! really good!!! great!

[Crowley]

Great excerpt, the dialogue was very believable, nothing kills a story fo me faster than bad dialogue. Although just an excerpt, the characters appear to be pretty well defined and you definitely don't hurry through a scene, I like that, its my next pet peeve is writing that is too linear and doesn't explore the characters effectively. Definitely makes me want to read on. Great job.