Who am i ?

well , um , this one is from way back during my highschool days again when i had this epiphany whiles watching this news segment and i came up with this.

I am conceived through pain 

Raised by your darkness

Weaponized by your religion

I am often  used arbitrarily in the name of justice

Who am I you ask?

 

I’m sure you know me

Every time someone is killed I am there

Every time you take your vile retributions I am there

Every time you do something through your subjective justice I am there

I am there for every act of evil you commit.

 

I am an everlasting cycle like the rain

As long humans exist I will remain 

I can not be killed because I exist within everyone

I admit some men tried but utterly failed.

 

Perhaps I can list them

The philosopher’s of hope

Ghandi , Marley , Jesus and manymore 

there words  of hope hurt me,

Injured me, they violated me but in the very end they all failed to kill me

Who am I? I am the malevolence, hatred , jealously, envy and bigotry

That exist within you and I will never die as long as you exist. 

Author's Note

nothing much i'm inexperienced so illuminate me upon my mistakes but as usual don't kill my dreams :)

Reviews

[ríða andlit]

Jackie Chan? :D

Sorry, I'm really sorry. The title is the same as my favorite Jackie Chan movie.

Well written, anyway. I feel like an arse.

[Peter H]

lmao my friend :)

[quinfinn]

a clever way of defining humanity and hope and love. very clever. i can find no fault in your efforts here, my friend. it is uniquely you.....well penned.

[Peter H]

thank you very much mr.quinfin your review is most definitely something i hold dear here :)

[quinfinn]

welcome!

[TrimarcoRansome]

...WOW!!! how absolutely true!

[Peter H]

thank you very much for the review my friend :)

[The Girl That Let You G..]

A wonderful read and write...Never have I seen something so powerfully penned. :)

[Peter H]

:)

[unsavable_soul]

Very nice,
Peter this is great. I mean there is such conveyance unto the evil here. Evil within us all. I like how it is related through I am there segments. Normally I would say it was too many, maybe it is. I thought it worked though. Those statements pull the read into the feeling of the everywhereness of this idea. It is pretty straight forward to it's allusions. There is a song it makes me think of a friend on here recently introduced me to "Evil is alive and well" by Jakob Dylan. Jessica Gillitzer got me onto them and so you might check out the song. Excellent piece in giving food for thought...

"Weaponized by your religion"

Very nice line, it creates vivid mental imagery in ideas of martyrs and religious fanatics.

"I am (a) ever (last) cycle like the rain"

An* and lasting*? Typos maybe.

So yeah as a whole this piece is well executed with rise and fall and an area of involvement for the reader to get involved in. Nicely done friend.
Sincerely
Christopher
100/100

[Peter H]

hank you chris you know i actually noticed those typo's the second time around but i've procrastinated on correcting them lol but thank you for the review

[unsavable_soul]

Of course Peter,
Always a pleasure to read interesting material.
I'll see you soon.
read moreOf course Peter,
Always a pleasure to read interesting material.
I'll see you soon.
Chris

[SHEEMA HUQ]

This is a clever characterisation of bigotry I think and you have expanded on your idea, flawlessly, very well done!

[Peter H]

thank you very much . sheema :)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

It is my pleasure, Peter, a sterling effort.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Excellent read and write.

[Peter H]

thank you i need to check my grammar abit i type to fast and misspell words but thank you

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Brilliant work!

[Peter H]

thanks marc

[A. H. Pinley]

We all have a precondition and that precondition is, mortality. Jesus made things right. The things that we man could not do. Great start. Read over it again and make the corrections.

[Peter H]

thanks my friend always good advice from you :)