war

i wrote this when i was finally coming to terms with my autism

my brain feels like a foreign enemy in my body,

every thought, choice, or idea,

a seemingly endless cascade of oddity

it brainwashes my body into obeying its every wish

so one starts to think

that this is normal 

that everyone must feel like this, 

but once you look around 

you see that others seem to be at peace 

their brain in sync with their body 

their mind isn't a battleground 

why not me 

why 

why 

why

why must i be left to fend for myself 

why must i feel like a stranger in my own body 

i want to know me 

i want to know why i do what i do 

i am lost and losing this war 

please help me