My first poem of yours and already thirsty for more. I wasn't sure where it was going, until my favorite stanza began.
"Convince the child
Assure the adolescent
Reason with the adult"
The positive contrast at the ending of the poem was really great. After I read it, I felt a weight lifted off my chest, almost as I can imagine this person feels once they realize this cycle has to stop. It's great, what you did here, with words. And my second favorite part of the stanza, aside from the precision in choosing your words, is the way it shows determination. You didn't imply the cycle that has been repeated for a lifetime was an easy fix. By walking through the stages of convincing, assuring, and reasoning, you satisfied me with the realistic idea that it's going to take just as much hard work and determination to be positive as there was force in this person from the start toward the negative. I'm very wordy, sorry. What I mean is, the change wasn't overnight, and that's what I loved the most. The hope that even if it takes a while, it will happen.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Exactly! Thank you so much for the review and taking the time to read!
I like how the structure of the poem imitates that kind of erratic, running commmentary of the mind. Or at least that's how it felt to me when I read it!
Great Piece! It does a great job of expressing how society teaches us we are never good enough. I love the emotion, for me it went from sorrow, to anger, to strength to overcome what others think. Nice work.
you don't really fail to surprise me every time I read one of your works. this what you called cycle is common to all of us. however, few only realize it then decide to do something about it. brilliant piece as always! :)
There is a dance in your words that moves across mindscapes... emotions that can grip us or startle us or stop us completely... You give such a depth of insight into the mind and the questions that come, and you give us hope that we can make it through. Loved it!