The Toy

You are an ever lasting child and

I was your toy

 

For a moment I was fun, shiny, new, everything you wanted,

Hardly put down

 

But like a child your eye has wandered to other toys

I no longer have the appeal I once did

 

I am worn out, used, and forgotten on a shelf

To make room for the new shining toy that has caught your attention

 

Soon though, like all your toys, she too will know the despair

Of watching you enjoy yourself from the shelf

Reviews

[zainul]

You have vividly painted the playful boy who exploits girl-toys and switch over to newer ones.
It is like a throwing stones to the frogs.
The girls are frogs who are the target of boys.
Wonderful write.
But,I have little to help.
Girls intentionally become toys at the hand of boys.
They compete for the same boy and sacrifice everything they have.
Girls are enemies of girls.

[Persephone]

Thank you for the review! I have to agree with you, some times the best of intentions can create the biggest hurts.

[zainul]

You are very correct,sweet friend.
I am very annoyed with peculiar nature of some girls.
Even a sister destroys the happy home of her own sister.
It's a great irony.
We may call it perversion,rather than love.

[C.A. Lucas]

Nice metaphor... I like the way you worded things... :)

[Persephone]

Thank you!

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

So much wrapped up in this short and well penned poem. This happens with so many relationships...it hurts to be discarded, but it is the loss of the perpetual child who will never know the beauty of the Velveteen Rabbit and long, committed love. You are the winner even through the pain. I am so proud of you.

[Persephone]

Very true - thanks for the thoughts :)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

:)

[Chris]

A good analogy of life...

[Persephone]

Thanks Chris! Good thought, I appreciate it!

[Eagle Cruagh]

You nailed the problem.
I love your style. You appear to
write of life as we all know it,
The bad boy and the careless girl, but
you have seen it and out of this you
have produced beauty. I have tried to
follow the same thought process.
Produce better and better stories and
poems from life, that means that you have
become better and better at living .
Thank you,
----- John

[Persephone]

What a beautiful review. I appreciate the thoughts and the reading, I get better at living with each new day :)

[Eagle Cruagh]

Not sure how to word this without seeming to over-do it, but
if you are new at writing, you should realized that you have the
secret to great writing. Say it like you have seen life lived, let it
flow, follow the stream of consciousness ---- you seem to have the
ability and emotion to do all that.
Keep banging away, you are very talented.
---- John

[Persephone]

Thank you very much - I will think about that next time I pick up my pen :)

[Patricia B. Hepler]

This spells out how many girls believe that they are special because the "perfect guy" has chosen them. Then, they take their place in a long line of discards. Frequently, this is the way women behave towards men, with a like result.
We all need to be needed yet we all need to learn what we should expect the limits of this treatment.....Good read. ph

[Persephone]

It is a good reminder to know there are those limits :) Thanks for reading!

[pumpkin head]

oh wow, i love this. so nicely written.

[Persephone]

Thank you!

[.]

I love the metaphorical techniques you used in this piece. This is awesome. Great job :)

[Persephone]

Thank you! :)

[.]

You are very welcomed :)

[Legion]

That sucks. Not the writing for that was superb and pinpoints this feeling in an extremely effective way, but the whole being used and discarded aspect. Know how that goes. Brilliant. Especially the last line. Top notch! Or should I say top shelf?

[Persephone]

Thank you! Yes it is a feeling we all try to avoid, but seems to happen to many of us. Thanks again for the review!