CHAPTER 13: Chris

  Sometimes I wonder about what would happen if I was born a girl. My name would be Christina and I would have the biggest rack. Every guy would be obsessed with me and I would hate it. Actually I'm not sure, I haven't had that much conversations with girls except for Dusty. I told Andrew about my thoughts and he said that his name would be "Andrewtina" and he would be the ugliest piece of s**t to hit Uglytown. Andrew and I were best buds, even though he hates to admit it. We met in middle school as 6th graders. Both 11 years old and voices cracking due to puberty. Older kids everywhere swarmed the buildings, knowing exactly where to go, and when to. 

 Andrew and I on the other hand, were lost. We asked several teachers for directions and 8th graders who would trick us and lead us to a bathroom or the gym. We ended up needed to go to the office and have the vice principal help guide us around.

I was sitting on my flat mattress and typing up an email for my friend who now lived in Houston, Texas.  

 To: [email protected]

 From: [email protected]

 Subject: Reply> Hey!

 

      Hey, nice to see you again. Well actually type to u again. it's been a awhile but ive been holdin on. andrew's hanging in my house now along with a girl named dusty. dont ask why.

annnyywaays, how's the family and whatever?? my mom's fine, but my dad seems more upset when he comes home. i'd ask him why but that'd seem too weird. i guess i just let him tell ME. also whats your gf's name? florence? something like that.

Reply soon, Chris

I clicked the send button and bolted downstairs with a loud thump-thunk noise. Andrew was watching reruns of "Fear Factor". Dusty was combing her hair whilst sitting on a crappy plastic chair near Andrew. It seemed weird, Dusty happened to stick closer to Andrew than me or even my mother. 

Andrew finally noticed me staring at him at the bottom of the stairs and gave a toothy grin.

"Hey! Where 'av you been?"

"Upstairs, where else?" I snorted.

I took to the kitchen and began searching the fridge for any delicacies. Nothing to my interest so I walked silently to the living room. 

Dusty. 

Andrew.

Nothing wrong with the scene, except they were closer. Much closer to each other. Their faces practically an inch apart. They kissed. 

Gross.

The kiss lasted about two seconds, but to me was a minute. They closed their eyes and seemed to actually like it. 

I ran all the way upstairs and ripped my phone out of my pocket and began typing up a text to Andrew.

              UPSTAIRS. NOW.

A minute later, Andrew was there, a dazed smile on his face.

"What's with the look?" I muttered.

"What of it?!" He laughed. He acted like he was drunk or crazy. 

Lovecrazy.

NO. Not "lovecrazy".

"Listen up, I saw you mackin' on Dusty." I admitted. 

Andrew grimaced, he exhaled loudly and then began rubbing his lips together and his eyes darted around the room as if he never heard me.

"Hellooo? Earth to Andrew, do you copy?" I enunciated, waving my hand in front of his face.

"I just," Andrew groaned. He was nervous sounding and tapping his fingers shakily on his thigh. Goddamn it, is he a pansy about this?

"like Dusty, y'know? Like-like her."

I was a bit surprised, I wanted to clasp my hand on my gaping mouth but was too shocked. 

"Reaally?" I whispered, my voice cracking a bit.

Andrew then began explaining all the hoopla that I didn't know about. 

"We was talkin' 'bout Penny and her boyfriend and whatever, and then we kissed." 

"Yeah, you already told me that." I answered. 

"And so, we started to talk more, and kissing is the sort of, 's-shut up and let's do some lip smackin'' sort of thing."

I wanted to pound his face.

"YOU'RE 17."

"What's the deal with that?" He complained.

"SHE'S LIKE, 15."

"SO WHAT?! Your mom's like 40 or whatever and your dad's four years older!"

"Your not gonna marry her now are you?!" I yelled.

Things were getting awkward.