braise

foul were the steps taken promptly
on hills they gathered burning soft dreams

(o’er)these long weak paths
blessed by soot dust

however

above a vague soft glow
the lovers rejoice in mutiny

backdrop gelatin of bouncy praise

on the spike roasting were the words I wanted to tell you




they were juiced in jewels and braised
though it seems I never was one to cook

Reviews

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

god.. you have such a skill with pulling out these gems of phrases, these entirely unique ideas. this is no different in the stellar quality.

i love your narrative voice.. and the juiciness of the words you choose. delicious *wink*

[Ebb and Flow]

This is an absolute delight on my eyes. It's quite beautiful!!

[EmpressPoetess]

Great poetry! Love the flow, tasteful metaphors!

[Legion]

Thank the gods for fast food then (or lust - love's equivalent to fast food). Great write. Ending was superb. Was wondering if this could be, also, about a moment of connection between two survivors of a nuclear winter. For some reason it was the image that came to mind after the first couple of stanzas. Good write.

[Jonathan Ballam]

Loved the humorous ending.

In my opinion, i'd take away the words "o'er" and "foul", since I feel it doesn't suit the rest of the sentences...which are told in a modern way.

Otherwise an interesting and unique idea!